Kathryn Lindsay
Updated Jun 23, 2016 @ 11:50 am
Credit: USA Films

Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t have fond camp memories. I went to a canoeing camp once as a kid, spent a week there, and then never went back. I was the kind of kid who, instead, did math over the summer, and went on writing retreats. While I’m a big fan of hiking and being outdoors, there was just something about summer camp that didn’t quite sit right with me. Actually, 10 things, and I’ve listed them all below:

1. The early wake-up calls.

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Seriously? 6a.m.? To go swimming? Won’t the pool still be there in an hour?

2. Forced fun.

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Sometimes, you just wanna chill. You don’t want to be forced into a game of kickball, or team building, or a scavenger hunt. Just let me be.

3. Everyone seemed to be making out but us.

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Oh cool, you guys all paired off perfectly and now I’ll just sit here.

4. THE FOOD. Oh God. The food.

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How is someone able to make pizza taste bad?

5. Bathrooms?? Outside???

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This experience is a little too authentic.

6. Trying to fall asleep while everyone in your bunk was still talking.

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“Be quiet, Tiffany!” – Tyra Banks, 2005 and also me to chatty Tiffany in my bunk.

7. Trying to talk while people in your bunk wanted to sleep.

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But then again, when I want to chat, everyone is being a buzzkill.

8. So. Many. Spiders.

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Oh no, I can feel them all on me right now get them OFF!

9. Not nearly enough dogs.

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This is my complaint about most places, but wouldn’t camp be the perfect place for some adventurous pups?

10. How, the moment we were gone, we kinda wanted to be back.

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Oh, to be a kid again.