Two of my best friends recently started dating each other, and while I am very stoked for them, I struggled a bit to come terms with it. On one hand, I was very excited because they’re adorable together and they make each other very happy.
On the other hand, I was worried their relationship might come in between our friendships. Here’s what I learned when they started dating:
Don’t freak out.
It’s natural to want to blow things out of proportion when you find out your friends are dating each other. It makes things harder if you find out about their relationship from someone else, so be honest from the very beginning and tell your friends how you feel. If you’re upset that they’re dating or you’re annoyed that they didn’t tell you right away, let them know. Otherwise, you’ll end up holding a grudge against them and it’ll come back up later on. Remember that they have feelings too and they might have hidden it from you because they were afraid of how you would react.
But also keep in mind that this could end badly.
Friends dating can be tricky. Some couples have really messy breakups and end up losing each other as friends, which makes it especially difficult if you’re close to both of them. There’s always a chance that this could happen. Communicate with your best friends and tell them how you feel about them dating. Share your fears that you might lose the ability to hang out with them at the same time if they have a messy breakup. Hope that, if your best friends do break up, you can all still be friends.
Be supportive of their relationship.
While it’s important to be aware of what could go wrong and how it might affect you, don’t be a total downer and remind them of their impending doom every time you see them together. This will only drive you further apart and make them dread hanging out with you. Be supportive and happy for them. As difficult as it might be at first, you’ll soon find that you’re genuinely happy for them.
Know how to set boundaries.
Make it clear you won’t get in the middle of their fights. You’re not there to be a messenger to them, so it’s best to just stay out of their quarrels. If they ask you for help, put your foot down and kindly let them know that’s where you draw the line.
Be prepared for a breakup.
Let them know that if they break up, you won’t choose sides or stop being friends with either of them, unless, of course, one of them did something horrendous, like cheat or say they hate puppies. You can make your friendships work post-breakup. Marshall and Lily managed it, so you can too!
Take a deep breath.
Most importantly, enjoy the fact that two people you love now have feelings for each other! Yay for movie nights and double dates and you being the maid of honor at their wedding!