How to cope with bestie separation anxiety
She’s your partner in crime, your sunshine, and your most trusted advisor. You wouldn’t trade her for anything, and you’re forever indebted to her because she stuck by you through your utmost awkward…and let’s be real, most downright frightening phases. The WAY too short bob? She was there. The unfortunate combination of frizzy hair + glasses + acne + braces all at the same time? She never left your side. She always had your back, and she made sure you knew it.
Now? She’s living across campus, across town, or even across the country. And damn it, she took a piece of your heart with her! What do you do? How do you cope? How do you keep on trucking when the one person who could help you do that isn’t physically by your side anymore?
The first stage? Denial. You tell yourself you’re fine. You’re a-okay. Just peachy. You treat yourself to a ridiculously huge latte, hunker down under your coziest blankets and begin to binge watch Gossip Girl for the thousandth time.
But when you see your reflection in the glossy, black screen in between episodes, you realize you’re not fine. So? You give yourself the pep talk of the century.
You finish your motivational speech and you laugh, because you have just come to the realization that this was a total lie and you begin weeping into your coffee. You’re like Jessica Day crying over Ghost, and man oh man…it is not pretty.
Then, you make the executive decision to turn off Netflix because you’re sob-singing See You Again too loudly to focus on Chuck’s debauchery, Dan’s sarcasm, or even Blair’s scheming.
I’ve experienced this slew of emotions firsthand. I moved in the middle of high school, and I moved again when I started college. I’ve been living without some of my dearest friends by my side for many years, and it’s definitely tough. A lot of relationships, platonic or not, fall apart due to distance, and I wasn’t naive to that. It’s OK if your relationship changes; that’s what relationships do. But true besties will fight for each other. They have the determination to put forth the effort to make a long-distance friendship work. And you love them even more for that.
But just because you don’t have your squad by your side doesn’t mean that you have to bottle up your awesomeness. Quite the opposite, actually. If you don’t have your besties beside you at all times, you’ve got to be confident and kickass all on your own. Glam up and head out—you’ll have tons to tell your bestie on your next Skype date.
Visits to see our friends can be expensive. It’s totally heartbreaking, BUT, my dears, we have options. On those nights where you would’ve grabbed dinner together and settled in for a long night of homework? Coordinate a Skype hangout, or a good old fashioned phone call. Postcards seem silly but are so sweet to get in your IRL inbox. And sometimes just chatting on Skype when you’re going other things helps. Even if you just go about your business and try to work on the homework you’ve been procrastinating on in silence, it’s awesome to be able to turn and actually talk to your best friend. Even if she’s miles away, she’s still right there with you, in the room.
So how do we cope with bestie separation anxiety? We laugh, we cry. We live our lives to the fullest and tell them all about it. Whether we know it or not, they’re with us every step of the way. Distance, hectic schedules, or whatever it is that’s keeping you from your bestest buddies will never change the fact that you love each other.
And that’s what makes your bestie your bestie.
[Image via CW]