In prepping for the final season of Parks and Recreation (by re-watching ALL the past episodes), we had an unexpected realization: April Ludgate has crazy best friend skills. April has been every snarky girl’s spirit guide and mentor. She’s mean, antisocial, and has a heart made of black diamonds. But she’s also incredibly faithful, smart, and funny—in that super, ultra dry kind of way. She’s one of the most confident and true-to-herself characters around, which is why we believe she would make a perfectly perfect BFF. Here’s our case for granting April honorary bestie status:
1. She knows what kind of dog you would be.
Remember that episode where Donna, Tom, and April decided what kind of dogs they were, and April kind of snubbed Donna because she didn’t actually know Donna very well? April finally did some massive friend research on Donna and totally nailed it, and who wouldn’t want a friend who will tell you who your spirit dog is?
2. She’s loyal.
Once April decides that she likes you, she will always be by your side. She may think Leslie is super annoying, but she will defend and protect Leslie ’til the end of time. Unless Leslie makes her hug someone, and then it’s game over. But whatever. April’s devotion to Andy (who can be difficult and childish) and Oren (who is creepy and sometimes frightening) is infinite.
3. She likes pulling pranks.
April is having the most fun when making people feel tricked and foolish. Basically, April Fool’s Day was named after her. Her penchant for mischief means your friendship will never grow tired.
4. She will buy useless things with you at the mall.
When she and Andy were filling up their new home with essential home goods, she and Andy went a little crazy with non-essential home goods. Like a marshmallow shooter, which may not be the most practical thing ever, but is certainly the most fun. Going to the mall with your BFF April will never be the same again.
5. She’s fiercely protective.
April is so incredibly loyal, that she will do anything to make sure that you are okay. If a boyfriend makes the mistake of breaking up with you, you’ll know April is already devising a payback plan. If someone scratched your car in the parking lot, it will be April’s number one goal to find the perpetrator and score a confession. Basically, she’s got your back.
6. She’s way honest.
A best friend is an honest friend. April will for sure let you know when your outfit is just not “A-game” material. She’ll tell you what she truly thinks of your new bf/gf, she’ll write all over your newest poem or short story in red ink, and she’ll never hesitate to let you know that you’re the most amazing person, ever (although, tell anyone, and you’ll be dead).
7. She won’t force you to be outdoorsy with her.
April hates camping and fresh air. In fact, she would rather eat poison than walk through piles of crunchy leaves. And that is just perfect in my book. Why would you go camping when wine and Netflix exist?
8. She loves gross things.
If you cut yourself and start bleeding all over the place, April is your girl. She loves gore and all things disgusting, so don’t hold back when describing your gnarly period, or that time you didn’t wash your hair for a week straight because it was winter break and you were lazy. No judgment, just pure, unadulterated enthusiasm and support.
9. She’s totally okay with just doing nothing.
My favorite aspect about April Ludgate, is that she makes anything and everything an adventure. Since April mostly hates activities that involve leaving the house, staying at home and drinking wine while watching The Office reruns is the perfect Saturday. However, if you’ve been forced to go to a stuffy, formal event and need a date, you can best bet April will turn it into the time of your life (read: Janet Snakehole and her accomplice, Maryann Ivegottaknife).