Rosie Stoff
November 16, 2013 2:00 pm

Outings With The ‘Rents

Gone are the days of being humiliated by being seen out with your parents (one or both, both was always worse), or walking a good 10 steps ahead of them. The reality was, in those painfully awkward teenage years, seeing a friend out at the movies while you were there with mom or pop… nobody thought any less of you! But somehow, you thought it would be the end of the world, like a classic coming of age sitcom, seeing a group of the cool girls sitting by the fountain at the mall while you were out shopping with Mom or seeing a movie with Dad. But now, oh now, you could not care less. You actually enjoy their company! You might be a mature adult.

Operation Dressing Room Storm

Setting the scene: you, standing in a dressing room, under (hopefully) not fluorescent lights. You look around at all the hangers of clothes that have been placed there for you. After trying, and hopefully not having a breakdown (jeans and bathing suits), it could look like an F4 tornado had occurred, but miraculously… it doesn’t. You wonder: did I rehang all the clothes, unprompted, after trying them on and before leaving for the register? Who have I become? It was totally an unconscious move! Well, you might just be a mature adult.

Fading FOMO

I have an affliction, and it goes by the acronym FOMO (fear of missing out, to those who are unfamiliar and not afflicted). One day, one hopeful day in the near future (I think I’m getting close!), I hope to be able to stay home while my friends are out and not totally regret it. Not feel anxious and need a constant update on the evening from a friend to live vicariously through them and experience the fun, or even not fun. Then, and only then, I might be a mature adult.

The Weight Of Truth

True story. Went to a new doctor a few weeks back. Had to fill out the usual plethora of forms, and without any hesitation or even a thought at all… I put my actual weight! I’m not ashamed of my weight, I am totally average. However, in the past I’ve always left a few pounds off those forms; what difference does giving or taking (no giving ever) say, 10 pounds make, anyway? Well, I’m sure some difference to the doctors. It just felt like a totally normal thing to do! Then and there, in that waiting room, I took one step towards becoming a mature adult.

Skin Care Regimen Is Locked And Loaded

It has taken you years and countless products. Numerous trips to various beauty supply stores and endless hours on online searching and reading testimonials. Struggling though those teenage years of acne and then the lingering blemishes that make you want to refuse to leave your house. Well, finally you’ve figured it all out. You may be one of those lucky people that with just a splash of water and a Biore strip, and voila! A clear face. But not most of us. You have your time set, products lined up, and washcloths out. You will never miss a face cleanse. Done are the days of waking up to a pillow covered in makeup. You might be one last product sampler away from being a mature adult.

Ambitious Amigos

Take a look around. Noticing something? All your friends are either employed and/or ambitions and working toward something! You seem to have let those friends who are drifting through life by the roadside. You didn’t kick them to the curb. No, no, no, you aren’t evil! They just seem to have, well, drifted. It isn’t that you don’t care – that isn’t the case at all, you have just found yourself losing touch with them over time. You are wrapped up in your own work and with people who relate to being out in the world working, as well! It may hurt, it may make you feel like a bad person, but if you have found this occurring… you might be a mature adult.

Catching Some Rays? I DON’T THINK SO!

BING! Incoming text. It’s your BFF. “Lay out by the pool today?” It’s a sunny day. A beautiful day! So naturally you say yes. Throw on a bikini, grab a lemonade/iced tea/ long island iced tea, a book, a pair of sunnies and a giant vat of sunblock. You’re ready to settle in…UNDER AN UMBRELLA. You have seen the damage the sun can do to your precious skin? It’s your best accessory. NO TANNING OIL! EVER! You are wise enough at this tender young age to know that a good time now leads to trouble later. Slather on that sunblock like your life/entire iTunes/iPhoto library depends on it, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll be a un-sun-spotted mature adult.

Bewildered By Tech

No, you aren’t one of your parents who cannot for the life of them figure out Facebook or Twitter. You’ve got that covered. But things in that mystical tech world are just starting to move too darn fast! All the updates! Enough is enough, you say. One more Facebook/iTunes/IOS update and I’m out, you may say! Let’s be real for a second – c’mon, it’s me here – that’s never going to happen. I mean, you need to stay connected SOMEHOW. But there is at least one piece of modern technology that just bewilders you. No matter how many times a friend tries to explain it or you read the instructions/description, it’s just not computing in your head. For me, it’s both Tinder and Spotify. Tinder, I’m actually glad I don’t understand – creepy much? There is one place I do not want my face (unless every guy is hitting whatever the Tinder equivalent to a “like” button is). Spotify, though… oh, Spotify, you make me feel as though my IQ is that of a bucket of KFC. I’ve tried! Your lovely music program just isn’t a made in heaven match for me. Find your inner not-so-techie, and you might just be an adult.

No Computer, No Phone, No Problems

Maybe you turn your phone off for the Sabbath, maybe you just don’t have a computer charger for the weekend or maybe you just need a break from the bombarding of Facebook/Twitter/Vine/text/voicemail/Instagram/email/Snapchat notifications. It’s time to take a vacation from the tech; it will all be there in when you turn your device back on! The Internet isn’t going anywhere. If you do not have a panic attack when your phone dies in a non-emergency situation, you might just be a mature adult. Lock it away in a drawer for a night… freedom!

And last but not least…

You MIGHT Bother To Shave The Tops And Backs Of Your Legs

Ladies, I know, I know, it’s a pain, especially in winter. But let’s just take the extra three minutes in the shower and get it done – you wont regret it after.

Photo Courtesy of ShutterStock

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