Having roommates is no easy task, but it’s often necessary because…well…money. You don’t have to be besties with your roommates, but there does have to be some mutual respect. A good roomie relationship is all about compromise and communication — you’re sharing a space, after all, so no one’s needs should come above someone else’s. However, sometimes even after hashing out the house rules and making your pet peeves clear to each other, roommates can do awful things that you have every reason to be upset about.
Sometimes roommates can just be terrible.
Maybe they’re not awful people, but everyone has a different idea of what’s appropriate. All too often in roommate disputes, each person can feel like they’re being attacked. You might feel like they’re not respecting your boundaries, and they might be wondering what the huge deal it. Details vary, but there are some pretty terrible things that go down in shared spaces.
Whether you’ve already talked about what’s bothering you or you need to have a roommate heart to heart, here are a couple of things that you have every single reason to be peeved about.
1They’re helping themselves to your stuff.
You probably have had some discussion about things that are common use, like everyone chips in and uses the salt, olive oil, toilet paper, etc. But if you come home every day and realize that someone’s been pilfering your organic chips and salsa, eating your leftovers, or using that hair mask you left in the bathroom, you have every right to tell them to knock it off. This will be harder to do the closer you are to a roommate, but if you’re spending your hard-earned money on groceries and beauty supplies, you can stake your claim.
2They’re not lending a hand.
Likewise, if there are things that everyone should chip in for — cleaning supplies or TP — and they haven’t made a run to the drugstore in a while, you should ask. The same goes for chores. If you’re resenting your roommate for just assuming you’re going to take care of things, it’s time to have a little talk.
3They are behind on bills.
This is really not cool but sometimes hard to talk about. Have you ever heard the horror stories of people giving their roomie money for the electric bill, only to find out that the roommate hadn’t actually been paying the bill? It might be hard for them to talk about, but you have to figure out a system that works for both of you and keeps the internet running.
4They’re not letting you live.
Are you leaving dirty dishes around and not paying the rent? No? Then you shouldn’t have to put up with a roommate nitpicking and judging you. Sometimes other peoples’ pet peeves are stupid (just like some of yours might be). If roomie is making unreasonable requests about how you wash your pots and pans, or gets on your case about when you come home at night, it’s more than fair to be annoyed.
5Their significant other has moved in — without your permission.
Guests are cool in most cases, and everyone should be able to bring some sex home now and again. But if your roommate’s S.O. or friends from out of town end up staying for enough nights in a row that they’re taking up counter space in the bathroom, you’re allowed to be a little peeved. You don’t have to ban guests, but maybe make some rules that work for everyone and make limits clear to everyone.
6They don’t respect the common spaces.
Your bedroom is your haven, but apartments have shared spaces that deserve to be lived in. However! If your roommate’s crap is constantly all over the table you share to the point that it’s unlivable or you’ve consistently walked in them making out with their flavor of the week in a shared space, that can get crazy old. Tell them to get a room — because they pay for one right down the hallway.