Discussing The Pinocchio Lizard, And Other "Extinct" Animals That I Totally Didn't Make Up
The Pinocchio Lizard told a lie: While people assumed this reptile from Ecuador was extinct, he was just hiding for 50 years! While he was first discovered in 1953, he wasn’t seen between the 1960s and 2005, when an ornithologist saw one crossing a road in the same remote area in northwest Ecuador. While the lizard has only been found in only four locations, mostly along a single stretch of road, he’s still listed as being endangered. But hey – an improvement, right?
It made me try and figure out what else might be out there. Here’s a list of my totally legit research on the matter, with pictures!
1. The Bieberdactyl
First discovered in 2008, the Bieberdactyl was well known for never physically aging – it’s nearly impossible to guess the maturity level of a Bieberdactyl once they’ve been spotted, which made successful reproduction of the flying reptile nearly impossible. One common similarity in all Beiberdactyls is their inability to use their legs – typically airborn, their legs have been said to be mere decorations on the lizard’s thin body.
People feared for the Bieberdactyl often, when it was in the spotlight. Certain Bieberdactyls had the tendency to self destruct, which is often cited as being a reason for its supposed extinction.
2. The Big Duggar
The downfall of the Big Duggar is its tendency to overpopulate, which made it an obvious target for bigger predators. Found only in Arkansas, this flying insect was known for having approximately 1,000 babies on a weekly basis. Unfortunately, that was all the Big Duggar was known for. One possible reason for their endangerment was their failure to scatter outside of their home state, and the overbundance of pesticides used by Arkansas residents to rid of the bug, which they saw as being a pest.
“I feel bad wiping out a species,” says longtime Arkansas resident Teresa Hunt. “But the Big Duggar doesn’t make honey, or help with the garden. It doesn’t photograph well, like the butterfly. All it does is breed. Do we really need to risk infestations every year?”
3. The Chumbawombat
Found in England, the Chumbawombat first appeared in 1982, and officially became extinct in 2012. Being attracted primarily to alcohol (whiskey drinks, vodka drinks, lager drinks, and cider drinks primarily), the Chumbawomat was said to have been wiped out based on issues with their livers before they could replicate. They were known for their loud vocals, which some referred to as “singing”, and often sang throughout the night as a failed mating call.
4. The Probster Bear
Known as being one of the few bears that can withstand tropical weather, the Probster Bear originated in 1961, but migrated towards countries like Nicaragua and The Phillipines since the early 2000’s. All Probster Bears have similar markings – typically blue and khaki in color. This little buddy has the ability to fight starvation and dehydration for up to thirty days. While they seem like a sturdy species, Probster Bears have been sighted less frequently recently – especially those who seem to venture away from their natural habitat. A few have claimed to spot the elusive bear close to fire, as fire signifies life – but that claim has never actually been proven.
5. The Cranstonsaurus
Almost hairless, the Cranstonsaurus is a cunning and talented creature that was typically seen on Sundays, but suddenly vanished. While it’s too early to say that the species is extinct, the lack of sighting has caused quite a panic from many United States citizens. While many identify the Cranstonsaurus as being a breed that originated in New Mexico, people forget that sightings were first seen in more suburban areas. The Cranstonsaurus is born with a full head of hair, but as it ages, it, as scientists put it, “looks like it’s gone through some very tough times”.
What a hyperactive critter the CeeLotypus is! Similar to a chameleon, the CeeLotypus can take many forms. Covered with individual markings, they’ve been known to cohabitate spectacularly with cats. Throughout its life stages, they’ve adjusted to numerous environmental formats, and have adapted accordingly – they can easily sprout feathers, as well as seasonal rhinestones.
The CeeLotypus has been criticized for often being untimely, which has lead to the breed’s quick collapse. Based on its nature to blend, they also have the incapability of always being recognized. Many have uttered phrases similar to “Is that a CeeLotypus? I don’t remember it having scalp markings before.”
If you see any of these animals, my best advice would be to report it to your local tabloid. Make sure to tweet what they’re eating, and maybe put a camera in its face and ask it fifteen times if it “liked being labeled as extinct”. Since if there’s anything that impresses them more, it’s reporters who ask them the same questions repetitively.
Image Credit: yahoo.com (featured) MSPaint/the author (everything that does not look legit)