One of the wonderful benefits of having a close friend group is being able to tell them what’s going on in your life. Typically that includes the good, the bad, and everything in between, but that perk comes with a major exception: sharing details about your relationship with your friends.
To be on the safe side and ensure that your romance remains on the strong, healthy end of the spectrum, it’s a really good rule of thumb to leave your friends out of your relationship. No matter how tempted you are to reveal that one time you and your significant other did something ~naughty~ somewhere no one would believe, consider the fact that you might be violating the boundaries of a person you love.
Think about how challenging relationships are on their own without having a group of friends chiming in (which they will totally do if you invite them to do so by oversharing). Maybe you are totally comfy sharing every little detail of your life with your besties, but your relationship isn’t just yours. Part of having respect for your partner and your relationship is knowing when to dish and when to keep your lips zipped.
Even when you want to spill *all* the juicy deets about what’s happening between you and your better half, there are some things about your relationship you just shouldn’t talk about with your friends.
1Your partner’s personal problems.
Unless you’ve been given explicit permission to share your S.O.’s personal problems with your friends, err on the side of caution and respect, and keep them to yourself.
If something you shared with friends gets back to your partner, it could be taken as a huge breach of trust that could leave your partner questioning your loyalty and feeling alienated or judged by your friends.
2Your partner’s insecurities.
A good sign that your partner is your bestie is if they can trust you with things they wouldn’t tell anyone else. There are some just some things you’re not obligated to tell even your best friend no matter how close you are.
In the case of things that may embarrass your partner or cause them great discomfort if others knew, the need to protect your partner is more important than your friends’ need to know.
3All the sex details.
Honestly, do your friends really need to know all the intimate details about your sex life? If you don’t mind oversharing about your own life, it’s cool, but your partner may not feel the same way about your friends knowing every single that happens when you two get it on.
4 Anything that’s for “your eyes only.”
This applies to sharing nude pictures, sexting, emails, and so on. If you respect your partner’s privacy, then you understand these things are explicitly for your viewing pleasure only. When in doubt, put yourself in your partner’s shoes, and think about how you would react to them sharing intimate photos of you.
Bottom line: Absolutely NO sharing intimate photos or messages with friends unless your S.O. says it’s chill.
5Your partner’s opinions of your friends.
Ideally, the person you love and your closest pals will at least behave cordially towards each other, but regardless of how they get along, there’s no need to disclose to your friends the fact that your partner doesn’t really like your friends.
Unless you want to create unnecessary tension between your S.O. and your friends, refrain from telling them any disparaging remarks the person you’re romantically involved with may have made about them. Some things just honestly do not need to be said.
6Stuff about your relationship that you haven’t told your partner.
If there’s a super important conversation you need to have with your partner, make sure that happens before you tell your friends about it, if you even choose to disclose the discussion with your pals at all.
The truth is, it’s potentially damaging to share info about your relationship with friends without your partner knowing. It could open the door for your pals to express doubts and concerns, putting you in a position where you feel like you have to defend why you’re with your significant other at all. It’s just not super healthy.
7All the disagreements you have.
Filling your friends in on arguments you have with your partner may feel cathartic in the heat of the moment, but once the air has cleared between you and your S.O., it’s possible that your friends may hold a grudge with your partner even after you’ve both resolved the issue between yourselves.
Whatever you choose to discuss with your friends, make sure you treat your partner with the utmost respect and only disclose things about your relationship that you’re both comfortable sharing with others.