Kenya Foy
October 16, 2017 2:31 pm

Because we’ve all apparently decided that every example of awful dating behavior deserves its own special moniker, we’re forced to deal with yet another grimy dating trend: “submarining,” which honestly makes the least sense of them all. Two questions: Are we the only ones craving a sandwich right now? And in what special way is submarining ruining people’s relationships and lives?

As Allure explains, submarining is when someone you’re dating disappears suddenly and reappears without an explanation for their temporary absence. In other words, it’s what happens after you mistakenly thought you were being ghostedand it also goes without saying that it’s a telltale sign you’re dealing with a complete a**hole who’s honestly not worth another second of your time.

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At this point, we’re hoping someone puts a stop to all these random “trends,” which are really just vivid examples of humans being on their absolute worst behavior. Just to bring you up to speed with the dating lingo, there’s breadcrumbing, stashing, haunting, bombing, breezing, zombieing, phubbing… Ugh, we’re totally struggling to keep up here.

Needless to say, submarining has us quite puzzled. Here’s why it’s the most nonsensical dating trend yet.

1Because if you submarined someone, why TF would they give you another chance?

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Srsly, if you’re out here submarining people, realize they can see right through your underwater shenanigans, so you should probably quit while you’re ahead, by which we mean “stay gone.” Dating karma is real.

2If you felt the need to submarine someone, why not leave them alone completely?

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Oh, right. Because the dating scene is rife with people who don’t care about people’s feelings. A person who submarines others is really only concerned about not being alone or bored, Bustle correctly writes.

3Submariners don’t bother to give an excuse to why they vanished.

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Like, the nerve of someone to reel you in just enough to get you accustomed to talking to them on a regular basis, then vanish and resurface again without even so much as a, “Hey, I’m sorry. I am still alive and well, and not dead like you probably thought I was.” It’s basically the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ of dating trends.

4It leaves you totally confused as to how to react.

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If you’ve had the misfortune of being submarined, you probably felt baffled, confused, infuriated, shocked and hurt all at the same time. Should you blast the offender for treating you like some worthless object they can play with and discard at will? Should you block them on all social media platforms and pretend like you’re not hurt even if you really are? All of the above? Someone, anyone, please advise because we’re so confused right now.

5It’s basically zombie-ing.

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Well, isn’t it? From what we gather, zombie-ing is when someone who supposedly ghosted you starts randomly liking your posts on social media or sending you random texts with no explanation for where the hell they’ve been all this time. WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THIS AND SUBMARINING?

6Because we honestly do not need another dating trend.

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While it’s rather intriguing to see how creative people get when it comes to labeling all the jerk-ish behavior that happens in the dating world (both on and offline), we are completely over them, tbqfh.

We hope nothing but the best for decent people who are weathering the choppy, chilly waters of dating in 2017, but for the love of God and all things nautical, please let submarining and all these other terms sink to the bottom of the ocean, never to return to the surface.

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