Kenya Foy
August 07, 2017 2:42 pm

This most wonderful sensation deserves all the credit it receives for making people giddy, blessing them with a new appreciation for life and leaving them starry-eyed and soft-hearted. Yes, it’s the almighty crush that transforms people into their sappiest selves, because let’s face it: When you have a crush, all logic falls by the wayside when it comes to that special someone.

For instance, other grown-ass people have to tell you how to act around your crush because socials skills instantly vacate the premises when you’re crushing. Advice like, “Slide into the DMs,” or “Let your crush know you have feelings” come from all directions. It’s like people automatically assume that you plan to act on your crush.

And hey, why wouldn’t you? It doesn’t make sense to be so smitten over a person and not at least see if something more can develop between you and your crush, does it?

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As illogical as it sounds (and despite the fact that your friends think you’ve totally lost it), there are actually some fairly legit reasons for not acting on your crush that don’t involve a debilitating fear of rejection.

1Your crush is taken.

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Not much can quell the intensity of crushing on someone, but realizing the person you’ve been pining after is already involved with someone else sure can put a damper on things.

If the lust of your life is attached to another person, that’s a perfectly legitimate reason to not act on your feelings. The only exception is if your crush is in an open relationship, and that’s something you both can handle. In that case, congrats, proceed accordingly and enjoy.

2Because you don’t want to ruin the fantasy.

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So, this sounds totally superficial but hey — so is a crush! Why spoil those vivid ideals of how awesome and perfect this person is by discovering that they don’t measure up (um, they rarely do, or maybe we’re just jaded).

In any case, we won’t judge if fantasizing feels better than facing reality. Go ahead and keep those steamy hook-ups with your crush confined to your daydreams.

3You already know your crush isn’t relationship material.

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Your crush is literally the hottest thing on the planet, but you’ve seen how they act when they’re in a relationship. Because avoiding someone who’s a train wreck IRL is high on the romantic priority list, absolutely no one can blame you for stalling on the person who gives you heart eyes emojis now, but will probably (definitely) leave you heartbroken if you get together.

4Because your crush likes someone else.

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Ugh, this is one of THE crappiest hands any heart can be dealt. Yes, we’re referring to the unfortunate situation in which someone you’ve been crushing on is simultaneously crushing…on someone else.

But in the spirit of staying positive, here’s a friendly reminder that emotions can be fleeting, so maybe this ~thing~ your bae-in-your-head has for someone who isn’t you will pass and allow room for you to act on your feelings in the future (hopefully sooner than later).

5You don’t want to ruin the friendship.

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After giving much consideration to whether your crush on your friend is worth acting on, you’re leaning heavily towards no. Maybe risking the platonic bond you share for a romance that may or may not stand the test of time makes you extremely nervous, and that’s fair.

If you can live with the uncertainty of wondering what could’ve been, then put the pause on trying to take the relationship to the next level and focus more on the advantages of not crossing that line with a friend, despite the fact that you’re really into them.

6You work together.

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While we don’t subscribe to any hard and fast rules about asking out a co-worker, we can’t skirt around the fact that going from crush to coupled up with a colleague requires one to tread carefully. If the situation heads in the direction of disaster (eek!), the consequences can include losing your job, being extremely uncomfortable at work or inadvertently creating office drama that could tarnish your professional reputation.

In the end, the decision to act on your crush is all on you (and those relentless feelings, gah). It’s true that the heart wants what the heart wants, with absolutely no regard to life circumstances. But if the negatives outweigh the positives, you just really want to avoid hurt feelings or your gut simply tells you not to act, then placing someone on permanently inactive crush status is probably the right thing to do.

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