Madison Vanderberg
July 19, 2017 11:30 am

Show of hands, who LOVES going on dates? One person? Got it. In theory, dating seems fun. You meet new people, you go to cool dinners, you kiss some frogs. In reality, dating is just sitting across from a stranger while reciting your resume and feeling awkward until it’s over. It’s hard out there for everyone — even famous people have terrible dating experiences.

Actress Jenny Slate opened up about a recent blind date she went on, and it sounded so horrible that we’re suddenly thankful that our first dates have only been moderately uncomfortable.

Slate split with Chris Evans earlier this year, and it seems she’s dipping her toes back into the dating pond.

Slate revealed on the podcast Talk Easy With Sam Fragoso that she was set up with a stranger for a blind date. Seems normal enough. Then, they started texting about where to go on their date, and her mystery man suggested, “something normal like a Renaissance fair.”

Slate’s response was savage. “It was a joke,” Slate explained. “But for me, I am a comedian, so I was like, ‘That’s not a funny joke.'”

At first, Slate tried to back out of the date. She said she was married for nine years and then in a serious relationship with Evans for a year and could not understand why her blind date was texting her all the time. Lol, girl. Dating in 2017 is literally just texting for several weeks before you ever meet.

Unfortunately, Slate shrugged all of this off, agreed to meet the guy, and then THIS happened:

NOOOOOOO.

“I have a whole date with him,” she continues. “His chain mail is like getting caught on stuff. I am feeling feelings which I never even felt as a teenager, which are like, you’re embarrassing me. I’m mortified, and also just mad. He’s trying my pasta with the chain mail clinking across and stuff, it’s insane.”

Needless to say, they did not see each other again. Slate adds that once they said their goodbyes, she went back into the bar alone and ordered a “whiskey vodka.”

Girl. We have been there. Well, we’ve never been on a date with a man masquerading as a knight, but we feel you.

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