Steph Barnes
November 15, 2017 6:31 am
Tatiana Niño/Unsplash

Can you remember the moment you received your first cell phone? The overwhelming feeling of excitement and the new sense of freedom gained — gone were the days you sat tethered to your landline while sharing cute moments with your crush of the week. So long to waiting for your older sister to get off the phone while you toiled under the crushing dread that you might be missing a call. It was a simpler, thrilling time. We’re sure you just couldn’t wait to start giving out your phone number to everyone in your class and anyone you met. But over the years, you may have realized that giving your number out freely, especially as an adult trying to navigate the world of dating, doesn’t always have the effect we hope for.

Let’s remove the very real possibility of your potential date becoming obsessive and blowing up your phone to the point you end up having to change your number, and focus on another brilliant reason to give a potential date your email address instead of your phone number. You’ve probably just met this person, maybe on a dating app, and you’re ready to take things to the next level. This usually involves sharing your phone number and waiting for them to shoot you an awkward “hey” text…you know the drill by now.

But what if you want something more than those blue and white bubbles filled with generic words? We have an idea.

We suggest giving them your email address instead!

When we open our email client and hit compose, we’re presented with a large blank sheet waiting to be filled with thoughts and feelings. Email invites us to share more. So by giving this potential boo your email address, it forces them to send you something more thoughtful than they might if they were just texting. Seriously, giving someone your email address will immediately show you if they’re genuinely interested in getting to know you.

Someone who’s interested beyond a late-night booty call in the form of an eggplant emoji will spend time stringing together meaningful words.

Texting was created for brevity. Remember when they had that 160 character limit? (Ugh, dark times.) Texting encourages users to get straight to the point using as few words as possible. It prompts people to use acronyms and emojis instead of sharing well thought out sentiments. Because of the nature of text messages’ quick composition, the medium can often lead to miscommunications and misunderstandings that we’ll end up obsessing over all day. Some people are more sensitive than others (and that’s okay), and because you’re still getting to know each other and texting doesn’t provide space for in-depth conversations on the go, you may end up unintentionally hurting the other person’s feelings.

We’ve all been guilty of this at one point or another: Someone sends us a text message with a few lines, perhaps, telling us about the day they had, and we respond with an absentminded “Cool!” because we’re busy in the moment. That one word response then leaves the recipient feeling a little rejected. Or even worse, if your crush sends you the dreaded one letter “K” text, you might end up driving yourself crazy trying to decode.

But because text culture has created this overwhelming need to respond quickly, we often end up doing that to avoid making the person feel like we aren’t interested. Not realizing that the message may have done more harm than good. (But honestly, who created this idea that there is a certain time that passes where it’s been too long without a response? It’s kind of ridiculous.) But with email, this is less of a problem, outside of time sensitive work-related emails, no one really expects you to respond to emails the moment they land in your inbox.

Another upside to emailing before blessing your potential date is being able to gauge how well someone can actually communicate. Communication is a huge part of having a successful relationship. If your crush can’t or wont express themselves via email then maybe you shouldn’t waste your time, especially if someone’s ability to articulate their thoughts and feelings is important to you.

If this is the case for you, starting with emails may prove to be ideal as it provides the space to explore both feelings and facts!

Sure, it isn’t as romantic as penning beautiful handwritten love letters and sending them off to find your love through the postal service, but it is a great way to get to know someone better before blessing them with your digits.

Advertisement