Karen Fratti
September 14, 2017 1:31 pm
Seb Oliver/Getty Images

Being in a long-distance relationship or even just away from your partner for any amount of time can be tough. Thankfully, we have phones and computers to help us keep in touch with the people we love — or even just the people we lust after. Most people will tell you that sexting is absolutely necessary if you want to keep your relationship hot until you get together again. Which is great advice, until you get a little self conscious and realize that sexting properly can be a little hard. Luckily, we have all the phone sex tips you’ll ever need to get over your inhibitions and get a little dirty, long distance.

And hey, we get it: Phone sex can be intimidating!

Texting someone something dirty is a whole different ball game than actually saying things outloud, even for the most sexually liberated people. Dirty talking is no easy task, so don’t feel bad. Here are some tips to get phone sex right.

1First, you have to relax.

This is someone who, apparently, likes you enough to make a phone appointment with you while they’re spending a semester abroad in a magical, faraway country (or just from across town on a rainy night). So relax: This person digs you and wants to get turned on with you. You don’t have to be embarrassed about wanting to have phone sex.

2Dress the part and set the mood.

This is totally up to you, but try to set a mood for yourself. Put on a pair of underwear that makes you feel hot or lower the lights in your room. If you feel super hot and turned on in your sweatpants, so be it. But sometimes lighting a candle on putting on your hot PJs can help you ease into the conversation.

3Ask them what they want.

If you’re nervous about getting things going, toss the ball in their court. A really easy way to get started is telling them whatever you’re doing to yourself and ask them to do the same.

4You can have a sense of humor about it.

It’s OK to take a breath and laugh about how awkward this is (if you feel like it is). In real life, if you were banging and the position was awkward or all of a sudden the dog walked in and made it weird, you would laugh with each other, right? The same goes for phone sex.

5Definitely touch yourself.

Basically, having phone sex is just masturbating with each other and talking about it. You should definitely get to work while you’re on the phone with each other, if anything because it will keep you turned on as the convo progresses. If you normally use a vibrator or other toy, break it out and tell them about it. Coming together while you’re far away from each other is super hot.

6Don’t be shy about the vocab.

Although calling genitals by their real name is totally acceptable, using some dirty words is much better for phone sex. “I am stimulating your clitoris with my tongue,” said in your best dweeb voice is not something someone wants to hear while they’re masturbating in their hotel room somewhere. Don’t be afraid use all the words at your disposal.

7Take advantage of technology.

Just think: Back in the day, people had to use a rotary phone to have long distance sex with them. Just because it’s called “phone sex” doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use the video technology at your disposal. Using FaceTime to mutually masturbate is a great idea, or you could connect via Skype with your laptop — if you set it up properly, you can get busy, hands-free.

8Talk to each other about it after.

Everyone likes a compliment! After you guys finish, congratulate yourselves. Tell your partner that that one move really worked. Like, really well. Hopefully, you’ll get some compliments in return to boost your self-esteem for next time. Once you pop your phone sex cherry, it gets much easier.

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