Karen Fratti
Updated Oct 03, 2017 @ 1:01 pm
Jake and Amy fighting Brooklyn Nine Nine
Credit: Fox

Transitioning into a relationship is not as easy as it should be, especially when you’re a little out of practice. When you’re single, you can play by your own rules. So when you get into a new relationship, all the compromising and communicating all of a sudden can be challenging, even when it is exactly what you want to do. Relationshipping is hard! And no one talks about the seemingly tiny things that you give up when you stop being single, especially if you’ve been by yourself for a while.

The things you give up when you get into a relationship can seem small, but the fact that you’re willing to give a little in the name of loving another person is pretty huge. That said, nothing you give up should feel like you’re betraying yourself. Instead, giving something up should feel like a good thing and make you feel closer to your partner. That doesn’t mean that it has to be easy.

Here are some of the weird things that are hard to give up after being single for so long.

1Your bed as your own sanctuary.

This is especially true if you move in together, but it can happen when you’re dating someone seriously who just spends the night a few times a week. When you’re single, your bed is everything. It’s not just where you sleep, it’s where you find peace and happiness. It’s also possibly your favorite place to drink wine and watch TV. Whatever your bed means to you, NO JUDGMENT. But now that there’s a new person in that bed, things are going to be different.

2Your right to ignore the tough stuff.

When you’re single, you can put off dealing with your sh*t for as long as you want. It might not be the best way to solve your problems, but hey, procrastination can help sometimes. When you’re in a relationship, you don’t get to do that anymore since all of your problems can become their problem, too. You have to work things out and address your issues, whatever they may be. Such a pain.

3Your holiday plans.

You never know how attached you are to your annual Friendsgiving or New Year’s Eve bash until your partner is asking you to join them this year with their family halfway across the world. Of course, you want to take this leap and meet their parents and all that, but it really feels weird to start new traditions. Hopefully, you can switch off every year.

4Your regularly scheduled masturbation time.

Just because you’re in a relationship and getting it on the regular doesn’t mean that you can’t or shouldn’t masturbate. Sex with someone else and solo sex are two totally different experiences. But! In the beginning of a relationship, you might not feel the urge or even have time to catch up with your vibrator. You won’t remember how lovely masturbating all by yourself is until you sneak a session in.

5Your single eating habits.

Sexual compatibility and food compatibility are seriously two of the most important things in a relationship. Like, if you two don’t like the same foods or ways of eating food (like loving restaurant hopping or cooking up a storm at home), your relationship might be doomed. That being said, sometimes being in a relationship can be annoying when it comes to eating, especially if they’re always hungry when you really aren’t or have some crazy picky eating habits.

When you’re single, it’s all about your cravings — now you have to put up with theirs too. The things we do for love.

6Spontaneous hangouts with your friends.

Hopefully, you’re still seeing your friends on the regular,since a romantic relationship should DEFINITELY allow for that. But how and when you see your friends does change ,and it’s, well..different. You’re a little less likely tend to end up spontaneously out all night after randomly running into your favorite winglady. You have someone else’s schedule to contend with now too, so you’re always making sure your squad and bae are getting equal time.

7Your privacy.

You should definitely have boundaries — your partner doesn’t need to know everything about you. But you do have to let your guard down a little bit, which can be really weird after being single for a while. If you move in together, this is the hardest part. Like, remember when you could just get up and take a poop without stressing about the other person’s awareness of it? Or stay inside on a perfectly nice weekend, avoiding people and sunlight to watch a Grey’s Anatomy marathon without judgement? Those were the good old days. You can still do all of those things, it’s just kind of less fun sometimes with someone watching you. But *sigh*…we do it anyway because sometimes, being in a relationship with someone you care about is totally worth all the hassle.