It sounds like something that only happens in the movies or the best ’90s teen television dramas, but you can end up in a relationship with your friend in real life, too. It happens a lot more than you might thin, and for obvious reasons! Your social circle is right there, ripe for picking, so you’re possibly already spending a lot of time with this person. If they’re your friend, you already also know if you share some of the same values and meme preferences, i.e., the extremely important things in a relationship.
Then again, you might want to check your gut. According to Psychology Today, studies have found that some friends fall in love with each other based on projection, meaning if one person gets the hint that a friend is crushing on them, the other person starts to consider the romantic relationship, even if they haven’t before. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it is important to remember that most of us are really nice people, so when we find out our friend might be into us, we’re less likely to turn them down just because we don’t want to hurt their feelings. Obviously, this can end in disaster. One should never be polite when it comes to being clear about feelings.
That said, when both people do feel the same way, it’s possible that two friends are merely wasting their time not dating.
Of course, transitioning from friend to significant other — or even friend with benefits — is no easy task!
Things could get weird, which you surely already know. But if you’re feeling your friend, trying out a relationship or even a friend with benefits situation is totally worth whatever the consequences are. So should you go for it? Here are some signs that maybe, in fact, you should.
1You keep swiping past each other.
It can be weird when you see someone you know on Tinder, so swiping right on them is sort of way to ease the weirdness of ~spotting~ someone on dating app. But this one friend? You’re worried they’d get the wrong idea and think that you totally want to bone them. Which you totally do, and that’s why you swipe left. Look, it’s complicated, okay?!
2You always end up hanging out together.
At any group hang, eventually you end up at the end of the table shooting the sh*t with this person. At weddings, they’re the person you end up retreating to the bar with during the slow dances. They’re your wingman.
3You always look forward to seeing them.
Because of this, you always want to make sure they’re going to be somewhere before heading out. Knowing that they’re also attending any event makes the whole thing more fun.
4You’ve definitely thought about it.
Maybe you two have actually hooked up before after one too many tequila shots, but you sort of brushed it off. Or you’ve floated the idea of hooking up with them in weaker moments. Whatever it is, you’re definitely not opposed to getting physical with them, at least in theory.
5They’re your type.
If you had to write down a list of qualities and attributes you look for when dating, you find that you’re essentially describing your friend. What are you waiting for again?
6You get legit upset for them…
When you hear that your friend is striking out in the dating world or that some other person treated them badly, you feel just as slighted as they should. Also, this person is so great — how could anyone screw it up with them?
7…and possibly a little jealous.
When they start hooking up with someone new, and you lose your wing man, and they start missing parties to snuggle with their new S.O., you are not happy about it. Low-key jealousy (or not being a little bit of a jerk to their new fling) might mean that you feel like you’re missing something, and by “something,” we mean “your unexplored desire to make out with them.” Shrug. Might as well go for it and see what’s there.