7 unfortunate signs that you and your partner are drifting apart
You’ve been dating for awhile, but things just seem…different. While you weigh your options on how to handle the relationship, just know that there are plenty of signs that you and your partner are drifting apart. They just might not be too obvious when you’re in the moment.
It’s good to know that sometimes splits just happen. Relationships don’t always end with a big fight or scandal, nor are they always messy. Sometimes you just stop aligning with your partner. Hey, maybe you’re better off as friends anyway.
Before you make the big decision (or, try to amp up the relationship and add a little romance back in) check these signs to see if you and your partner are more like estranged roommates than a romantic pair.
1Date nights no longer excite you.
Even if you live with him or her, you always enjoyed the opportunity for a little one-on-one in a new setting. It was always fun going out to dinner, or checking out a movie. Now? Meh. Why bother going to the movie? Might as well save money and just stay in.
The reason you feel this way is because dates just aren’t fun anymore. You go, but you barely interact. It’s more like going through the motions at this point.
2When something good happens, he or she isn’t the first to know.
You call your mom, you e-mail your dad, and you gossip about it in your group chat. But you don’t tell your significant other since they just might not get it. Think of it this way — if you told them about your big promotion, you’d have to explain your job to them again. Then you’d have to explain why the promotion (aside from the money increase) is a big deal. It’s just more trouble than it’s worth.
Even if your partner really cares about you and has your best interests at heart, they’re just not really involved with the same things you are. Come to think of it, do you guys have anything in common?…
3You forget little details that he or she tells you.
He’s got a dentist appointment at 5:30 on Monday, so if you’re planning on a group dinner, aim for later than that. Wait — was it Monday? Or Wednesday? Was it the dentist or a work meet-up? Who knows.
Everyone has their own thing going on, but if he or she tells you things that you constantly forget, you’re tuning out. It’s not that you don’t care, it’s just that mentally, it’s not a top priority for you. That’s a telltale sign that things are romantically heading south.
4Marriage is the last thing on your mind.
If you’re not yet married, but have been together with him or her for awhile, you probably get asked about the future a lot from nosy relatives. To be honest, marriage is the last thing on your mind. You might have discussed it with your significant other some time ago, but the subject was dropped. And you’re kind of happy about it.
While not every romantic couple needs to get married — and many people have incredibly long-lasting relationships without saying “I Do” — a reason for your dismissal of marriage might be because you can’t imagine it ever happening with your partner. It’s possible you’re still together simply because you’re used to being together, and not because it’s making you happy.
5You often feel like they can’t do anything right.
When you’re not feeling passionate about someone, you can often take fault in everything they do. All of a sudden, your partner can’t load the dishwasher correctly. Or chew his or her food normally. Why do they breathe so heavily? Ugh.
Since they likely didn’t start breathing differently overnight, you probably noticed it because your feelings for them are fleeting.
6None of your new interests align.
Successful couples don’t have to have everything in common — but they should have at least one or two things that they share with you. Back in the day, there were one or two things that you both loved. Maybe it was craft beer and music festivals. Maybe video games and gardening. But now? The things you discover are things that he or she just doesn’t understand.
This happens because people change. It’s a natural progress, but it’s much better to drift apart from someone based on new interests instead of pretending you’re in love with the music and movies they are, for the sake of keeping things together.
7You’re finding it harder to forgive them.
Sometimes we screw up. In relationships, there are a lot of minor things that could go wrong. Maybe he or she forgot to call when they arrived at their parent’s house like they promised they would. Or, maybe that dumb fight you had when you were both hangry hit harder than you originally thought.
If you hold a grudge over something minor, you’re looking for ammo in order to break up with them later. Even if they’ve begged for forgiveness, or even forgot the incident even happened, you can’t help but think about it. In a happy and fresh relationship, you’d get over it based on all the good your partner brings. But now? Whenever you look at them, you just can’t find it in your heart to move on from that one thing.