Yay, you found a new partner you’re totally into! Good for you. But there’s just one problem: you totally hate their kissing style. This is the worst situation, especially if you love a solid makeout session to get you in the mood. Thankfully, you have some options if you hate your partner’s kissing style. This can get awkward. It’s not easy to sit someone down and tell them that the way they lock lips is turning you off.
Because kissing is personal.
Maybe their last partner loved their slobber all over their chin, or taught them how to do those mechanical tongue jabs. Or it could be worse: Maybe no one ever told them they were a bad kisser at all. You have to sit them down and figure this out, in the name of social good if nothing else. If you two don’t last, you’ll only be doing the next person that loves them a favor (or crush their spirit for all eternity).
We’re kidding, we’re kidding, calm down.
There really are ways to adjust your partner’s kissing style that won’t break their heart or hurt their feelings. Because at the end of the day, the reward will be getting to kiss you. Hopefully, they like the way you kiss them back.
1Take the lead.
If they’re putting too much pressure on your face, pull their head back (in a hot way!) and lighten it up. If the tongue action is out of control, model good behavior. If they’re biting (or not biting enough) react accordingly. Learning by example is a real thing, and hopefully they’ll get the hint.
2Make a game out of it.
You can turn the bad kissing into good smooches by making it a game, and they’ll never even know there was a problem. The next time you’re getting close, tell them that your going to kiss them and ask them to do it back to you — exactly the same way. You can switch this up with other sex acts, like how they touch you or how you go down on them. (So they feel like they can be the boss, too.) Think of it like Sexy Simon Says with a focus on making out.
If this is a new-ish partner, you might want to give it some time. It’s hard to learn how to kiss someone new. No matter what you think, everyone kisses differently and likes different things. Remember the first person you kissed after your last relationship? It was different, right? It might just be a matter of finding a new flow. Don’t lose hope.
4Tell them when it feels good.
Just like with all sex, communication is key. So when you take the lead and show them how you like to kiss, tell them that it feels good. People respond well to positive feedback so in whatever way you know how, let the person know that what they’re doing is definitely working. Most people really do want to please each other, so the next time, they’ll be sure to remember what they did to make you so happy.
5Just give it to them straight.
If things really aren’t working and you find yourself curving your partner every time they go in for a kiss, you should say something. It could be really hard and possible go wrong. But you can sit someone down and tell them that you love everything about them, but you really miss kissing and the reason you tend to avoid it is whatever it is. You might want to offer up some services after you do it so they know you’re still into them, but they’ll get over it.
Dating a bad kisser is not the end of the world. But if it’s totally turning you off, you do have to take steps to change it. Just break it to them easy.