Dating is all about trial and error, so it makes total sense that most of us flock to some tried-and-true dating advice to help us get through it. And when things don’t exactly work out like they do in our dreams, it’s totally natural to assume we’re doing something wrong. There must be a magic formula to getting love right, right? Sadly, that is not the case, though we definitely wish it were true. In fact, there are tons of dating habits we’re told are bad that might actually not be such a big deal.
If anything, straying from some dating habits because we think they’re going to work against us might actually be what’s turning our dating lives into a disaster. Oh, the irony.
Here are some so-called bad dating behaviors that aren’t really a big deal at all. You can thank us later.
1Talking about marriage and kids.
This is sort of insanely old-fashioned advice. You’ve heard it before: Don’t go all-in with the personal details on a first date or mention your long-term romantic goals. You don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea, right? (The “wrong idea” here being that you’re someone who knows what you want from life and isn’t interested in wasting anyone’s time if you guys don’t share those goals.) Wrong! Of course, use discretion. But if you’re on a date with someone you really like and they mention that they’re anti-marriage while you have a binders of wedding plans you compiled in high school under your bed, you gotta speak up. You’re allowed to have plans and thoughts about those things, especially if they’re important to you.
2Double texting a new fling.
Double texting is when you text someone and they don’t respond and then you text again. It’s not the end of the world if you do it. You shouldn’t ever keep texting someone if they’ve told you to stop or you get a clear signal that this person is not interested in you. But if you were the last one to land a joke in the text convo and then also text later to ask if they want to go see a movie before they properly LOL, that’s not a big deal. Anyone who thinks you’re cringeworthy for being honest about your interest is probably not for you.
3Always taking the lead.
This is more super old, super bad advice for women who are dating. You shouldn’t play games about who should text first or who asks who on more outings. At a certain point in a relationship, it’s fair to question a partner about why they don’t take initiative, and if the person is really not reciprocating, you’ll likely get the hint (and back off).
But just because you always have good ideas about what to do on a Sunday night or have a strong desire to bone someone multiple days a week doesn’t make you a weirdo. It makes you a person who wants things and isn’t afraid to put themselves out there and ask.
4Having sex on a first date.
Whoever told you that having sex on a first date is bad for your relationship is totally wrong. Unless, of course, you don’t want to have sex with someone for any reason. But don’t hold out on getting intimate because you’re scared they won’t like you afterwards. Do you.
5Dating multiple people at the same time.
Hear us out on this one. If you’re using a dating app to meet people, it’s likely you have a few contenders in the mix. You should not feel bad about that or even feel bad about double booking these dates. Unless, of course, you would flip your lid if one of the people you’re seeing is doing the same thing. Don’t be a hypocrite, and don’t be secret about it: Telling people what’s up and keeping your options open is legit in a lot of cases.
When you’re dating, always remember to do what feels right, not what someone told you is right.