Caroline Gerdes
September 25, 2014 6:30 am

Big crushes: We’ve all been there. Not to be too cheesy, but sometimes there is someone who just has you hooked. It’s that unbearable crush-feeling where you can’t help but think about the other person constantly, dress up a bit if you know you’re going to run into them, and become incredibly shy the moment they actually say “hello.” It’s easy to get lost in a crushing fog, but don’t worry, we’ll help you through! Here are five ways to find your center when you’re crushing hard.

1.  Honor your feelings

No, I don’t mean with a shrine, but respect your heart and your feelings. Acknowledge that it is OK to like someone, and start to ask yourself what these feelings mean. Don’t be hard on yourself for feeling the way you do, because the more you try to repress your feelings, the more they’ll become annoying, obsessive thoughts instead of natural emotional reactions. The more comfortable and non-judgmental you are about the way you feel, the cooler and less self-conscious you’ll be when you actually see the person you’re crushing on.

2.  Don’t judge yourself 

Don’t be surprised if your crush is nothing like your previous crush, or is not your usual “type.” Crushes can appeal to different parts of your personality, and that’s OK. Sometimes it’s good to step out of your comfort zone and pursue someone new. But, don’t become someone you’re not to appeal to a crush. Stay genuine and let your crush get to know you for you!

3.  Remind yourself what you’re really looking for in a partner

When you’re crushing hard, ask yourself if you are enjoying the dreamy feeling or if you want it to turn into a reality. Sometimes crushes are fleeting and imagination is all you need, and those are totally fun. Think about the qualities you want in a S.O. Is your crush someone you can really see yourself with in the future? Don’t lose sight of the big picture.

4.  Don’t forget about you

Sometimes crushes take over our thoughts. It’s OK to fantasize and put someone on a pedestal in your imagination, but only if you put yourself up there, too! Don’t let your daydreams about someone else affect your decisions about you. Ask yourself, am I the person I want to be during this crush? Am I obsessing? If you are, try to focus a hobby or do something you love that’s just for you. Don’t let your crush be your everything. Getting your dating juggle on can also help take the pressure off one person.

5.  Be honest about what you want

Sometimes crushes burn out and the imaginary relationship was all you really wanted. But, if you think this crush could lead to something bigger, follow your heart and don’t be afraid to let them know how you feel.

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