We woke up this morning thinking it would be just another day. We sipped our cup of coffee, flipped open our laptops and did the happiest spit-take this side of Three’s Company. Holy Everything! Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got married!
After 9 years, 6 kids, an engagement in 2012 and countless false alarm wedding reports, it’s not exactly shocking. But there were some surprises—like the fact that they got married last Saturday and they didn’t tell us until now (that’s actually super cool.) And the fact that Brad Pitt is 50! (This we knew, but may have forgotten. Crazy, right?)
Because it’s Brangelina, and despite their ultimate famousness—or because of it—they don’t need no crazy celebrity wedding event with power agents flying in on helicopters and exclusive photo deals with OK! Magazine. Alls they needed was an amazing chateau in Miraval, France (alright, it still sounds pretty fancy), which happens to be the town where they first lived together as a couple. The bridal party was largely their family: Maddox and Pax walked mom down the aisle, Zahara and Vivienne tossed around rose petals, and Shiloh and Knox served as ring-bearers, according to the Associated Press.
Yes, ALL major news outlets are covering this breaking story, which has some people on Twitter a little annoyed that it’s taking precedence over the conflict in Ukraine. Other folks are little miffed that the couple didn’t make good on Pitt’s promise to wait until marriage equality was a real, permanent undisputed right across this fine land. And still other folks were just upset they weren’t invited to the wedding.
The thing is Brangelina mean a lot to a lot of people. Whether you read celebrity news or not, you know their story—it’s a modern-day fairy tale with an old-fashioned message: true love conquers all. What began as controversy, morphed into a wildly impressive and (seemingly) equal partnership. He adopted her son and together they grew their family, she flew them around the world, they supported each other’s creative endeavors, she engaged him in activism, they weathered hardships and serious illnesses, but together they pulled through and got more productive, and visibly romantic, with each passing year. They were already pretty awesome celebrities on their own, but together, holy crap, things HAPPENED. Personal projects were put into action, they learned how to harness their joint media powers for good, they traveled, like, everywhere.
And isn’t that what we all want out of an ideal romantic partnership? Someone who not only supports us but arms us with superpowers we didn’t even know we had? Yes, please.
So to congratulate Brangelina—who we don’t have to know personally to weirdly love—we made a little scrapbook of their sweetest moments witnessed from afar (and sometimes with a zoom lens), and added floating hearts, because we’re Internet geniuses. Consider it a wedding gift. (Guys, we had such short notice. This is what we got.)
That time, while making Mr. and Mrs. Smith when you had your first public kiss, covered in fake blood and surrounded by cameras. It still seemed pretty sweet.
That time in 2007, when you said “screw this laying low on the red carpet thing, we love each other and that’s OK.” (Super-duper paraphrase/imagined conversation alert!)
That time in Cannes in 2008, when you guys were about to expand the fam and life was intense.
That time someone had to walk with a cane on the red carpet and someone else made it all better.
That particularly good hair day for both of you. Sorry, it’s vapid, but it’s the truth.
That time you guys needed a hug break while Angie filmed In the Land of Blood and Honey.
(Shutterstock, BBC, Youtube and 20th Century Fox)