I was in love with my best friend for 8 years before we dated
In 2003, I met a boy at university. I was 19 years old and the moment I met him I thought, “Holy cow, I like him so much!” He went to France the next day and he returned with a trinket for me. I was sure he liked me. But, he brought another girl a BIGGER trinket and then they started dating. (For three years!)
We became friends and hung out occasionally over the years. As time progressed and our appreciation of each other grew, we danced around each other but remained just friends while we dated other people. Sometimes he would drive up to visit me for the weekend—we’d watch movies, visit little towns and eat fun things. Then we’d go back to our normal lives until the next time we hung out. Nothing ever happened between the two of us, but we had a chemistry that made hanging out extra special.
In 2011 I flew to visit him after he moved to New York City and he told me how he felt about me. After eight long years of pining for my friend, we started to date. Dating long distance is hard, especially when you first start a relationship and have no solid foundation. So, I decided to move to New York to be closer to him and start a new chapter of my life.
Going from friends to dating is really tricky, especially if you’ve previously liked each other. All those little things you hide from someone when you’re first dating? That stuffed animal you sleep with or the tricky parts of your past are new surprises to reveal after knowing someone for so long.
Then there’s the ‘perfection syndrome’ that gets in the way. In my case, I kept getting disappointed because my boyfriend would do things that my perfect version of him didn’t do and it would disappoint me. After a little while, I realized you can’t put anyone on a pedestal. No one is perfect and it’s unfair to think that someone is.
I always rolled my eyes at the meet-cutes and happy endings of television shows. But now I feel like I can’t say anything because my life turned out, well, to have sort of a rom-com plot. I’m glad I waited for the right person.
Ten years after we met, the boy I had a crush on and I got married. It was a magical day filled with puns and flowers. Some seasons are hard and some are really amazing, but one fact remains the same. On even the hardest days, there’s no one in the universe I’d rather dance around the house singing like muppets with.
[Image via Columbia Pictures]