It’s that time of year again, where many of us are either gearing up to enthusiastically celebrate Valentine’s Day or are treating February 14th like a nuisance—a holiday rife with corniness, commercialism, and couples galore.
I actually don’t totally hate Valentine’s Day. No doubt, it may be a day that means sappy-ass Instagram posts, red and pink bodycon dresses that you’ll only wear once, and overpriced dinners—but I’m still in favor of loving on the people in your life who love you back, every day of the year. But if you’re proudly anti-Valentine’s Day, please let those who treat February 14th like a high holy day live their best lives, okay?
Now, if you fall somewhere in the middle, meaning you want to do something that day—but without all of the red-and-pink pomp and circumstance—then you’ve come to the right guide. This year, I’m celebrating V-Day by giving myself an extra dose of self-love.
February 14th is about more than being paired off with a significant other or hanging with your girlfriends instead. Of course, you can still hold out for a love that makes you all warm and fuzzy on the inside or go turn up with friends for a different celebration—but if you’re single or “it’s complicated,” you can still gift yourself a little V-Day pleasure.
Ahead are seven ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day if you’re sex-positive and single.
Masturbation is self-care, and touching yourself won’t make you as sad as touching that person who won’t commit to you. And while you can and should get yourself off on a regular basis, make your V-Day solo playtime a little more special by setting a mood for your damn self. Burn some sage or palo santo, wear whatever makes you feel like a goddess, and treat yo’ self to a new sex toy.
2Take a bougie bath.
We’ve established that self-care looks like more than baths and face masks, but that doesn’t mean you can take a bougie bath and celebrate yourself on Valentine’s Day. Let those fancy Instagrammed bathtubs with rose petals, herbs, and oils be your inspiration—or, if you’re lazy, throw a Lush bath bomb in your tub and get your soak on. (FYI, waterproof vibrators exist, so feel free to masturbate in there, too.)
3Send nudes…to yourself
If you can’t afford to go all out on a boudoir photo shoot, your front-facing camera is always free. Women and femmes have been made to believe that our bodies are for other people’s pleasures. Remind yourself that you’re a bad bitch by taking artsy nudes at home for no one but yourself. Save your favorite shots to a private folder, and view them when you want to serve as your own inspiration.
4Fix yourself a nice dinner.
While I won’t blame you for eating potatoes or ice cream for dinner on V-Day, let’s at least try for something a little more nourishing. Put Uber Eats on pause and make a trip to the grocery store. Stock up on stuff to make your favorite meal or try something new. Put on your favorite playlist while you set aside intentional time to fix yourself a good meal, then eat it in bed or on your couch sans pants.
5Buy yourself a plant.
A succulent will last you longer than red roses. Buy yourself a succulent or houseplant that will refresh your space, provide oxygen, and help you get into the practice of “watering” more than just the other people in your life.
6Go to a striptease class.
There’s no need to stress out about a V-Day outfit if clothes aren’t required. Find a local striptease or pole dancing class and channel Beyonce in the “Partition” music video. And if you do decide to bless a partner with a striptease or lap dance in the future, then you’ll already know what to do.
7Make a “sex menu.”
In between pleasuring and nourishing yourself, take time to sit down and write a “sex menu.” Instead of crafting a love letter this month, figure out what’s on your sexual bucket list and keep track of those desires. Then, once it comes time to get naked with a partner, you’ll already know what to ask for so they can cater to your tastes.