Steph Barnes
March 01, 2017 6:15 pm
Greg Raines/Unsplash

Relationships, obviously, can be amazing. They bring some of the highest highs and the lowest lows. When you get into a new relationship, there are three little words that can make things even more amazing or leave you tripping over yourself to get out the door. You know the ones, no, not “pizza for dinner,” the other ones — “I love you.”

Those three little words can create big drama. For many people, it’s hard to figure out exactly when to say them. Nobody wants to scare their partner away by coming off too clingy and dropping the L-bomb after two weeks, or create doubt by waiting way too long to say it. We’re getting a headache just thinking about it!

Because every relationship is different and no two people are the same, there’s no how-to-guide. However, there are a few signs that it might be way too soon for that huge declaration:

1You’ve only just started dating

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, but if you’ve only been dating for a few weeks, it’s probably too soon to drop the L-bomb. After a few weeks of dating, you’re still in the honeymoon phase and everyone is still on their best behavior hoping to impress (and get laid). Lust looks a lot like love when hormones are involved.

2There is a lack of security

The love that blooms in a healthy relationship should bring a sense of security. If you don’t feel safe, it might be too soon to say, “I love you.

3You can’t see them in your future…yet

It’s totally normal to daydream about a beautiful future when you’re in a new relationship (do people still want 2.5 kids and white picket fences?) but if you can’t fit your new beau into your 5-year plan yet then maybe hold off on making any huge declarations.

4You’re not ready to commit

Depending on the nature of your relationship, it’s definitely possibly to love someone without needing commitment. But if your partner has made it clear that he/she is looking for commitment, and for whatever reason you’re just not ready, don’t lead them on.

5You’re waiting for change

If you’re in a relationship with someone, there are obviously things you like about them (hopefully many, many things) but nothing is perfect. And if you haven’t fully accepted this person as they are, for who they are then your glass of love is half empty.

6You don’t mean it

In matters of the heart (and life in general) — if you don’t feel it, if you don’t mean it then don’t say it! Save everyone the unnecessary heartache and disappointment.

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