S. Nicole Lane
February 18, 2017 9:07 am
Fox Searchlight

Some of us stick it out in relationships because of convenience, fear of solitude, or out of refraining from hurting the person we are tied to. It’s hard to be the one to end a relationship — but sometimes being alone and being single is the absolute best answer to furthering your personal growth in ways that you can’t complete while dating someone. Even if your partner is “perfect,” it may not be right for you at the moment and there are some obvious signs that you want to be single and that desire  may out weigh your likeness for your once adored boo.

In comparison to baby boomers, millennials are staying single longer. A 2014 Pew Research Center report stated that “26 percent of young adults between the ages of 18 and 32 were married in 2013, compared to 48 percent of baby boomers and 36 percent of Generation X-ers.” Not only are we holding off on marriage, we are also remaining completely single.  Overall, 60 percent of women identified as single according to a Gallup poll. Whether it’s our careers, schooling, finances, or lack of religious inclinations, millennials are getting shit done and sometimes, relationships sort of get in the way of all of that.

If you’re beginning to day dream about your past single life or dreading a date night out with your beau, maybe you should reconsider continuing your relationship. After all, it’s not entirely fair to you OR your partner to pretend to enjoy the train of commitment. Take a look at these four tips to see if you’re really ready to be dating or secretly want to be single.

1. It’s emotionally exhausting you

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Dating can be draining in general. Keeping up with someone is an effort and not everyone can give 100% all of the time. But once your relationship begins to drain you drastically, it’s time to consider being single in a serious manner. Dating should uplift and love should be supportive. If you’re in a relationship burnout, where you are lacking all emotional energy, this is a high indication that you are tired and ready to be on your own.

2. You feel claustrophobic

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An ode to the single life is that you’re always doing whatever you want, when you want. If you’re someone who can work independently from your current partner and the suffocation hasn’t sunk in, then by all means, stay in your relationship. If you’re feeling trapped and stressed about not having enough alone time, cut those ties! In some relationships, couples can definitely ease into a situation where they begin to demand too much attention and “alone time” is virtually absent. This isn’t healthy or recommended for anyone, solitude is pertinent to your mental health — remember that.

3. You’re imagining your life on your own

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Once you start those dreams about being without your partner, fantasizing about the day you’ll leave them, or envisioning your future without their presence, you’re probably ready to be single. Remember that you are by no means a bad person for wanting to be on your own. These things happen. It’s normal, natural, even. Sometimes, things just fall a part and it’s better to be self aware and self confident in your decision than to feel detached and in disarray.

4. You feel like you’re settling

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If you think your partner isn’t up to parr, then please, please, please don’t settle. If you imagined your future couple situation to be totally different from what it is (in a negative way) then don’t just shrug your shoulders and stick with it for the sake of not being alone. Being single isn’t the enemy. It’s healthy and creates a moment for you to breathe and become more self-aware.

Wanting to be single isn’t selfish and your happiness should always come first and foremost. There is no sense in remaining in a situation that isn’t fulfilling you or is hindering your progress towards a better and brighter future. All the single ladies, commence.

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