Breakups are rotten and usually kind of ugly. Not that we can’t be mature and respectful and all that, but generally we are feeling anything BUT mature and respectful during a breakup. We feel hurt, rejected, angry, and indubitably sad.
But there’s always a silver lining, right? Breakups are terrible, but they don’t have to leave you completely drenched in devastation and salty tears. Breakups can be positive! Besides freeing yourself of a possibly one-sided or unhealthy relationship, you actually had LOADS to look forward to, such as:
1. You have way more “me” time.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Regardless, now it’s all about the “me” times. Spending hours in the bath reading a book, painting your nails, watching Gossip Girl on Netflix, concocting a facial mask from oatmeal and Greek yogurt, writing, online shopping, playing Sims, and anything else you can think of, you couldn’t do quite as often when you were in a relationship. Girl, your reclusiveness is your oyster.
2. You don’t have to agree on a restaurant.
You want sushi. He wants Chili’s. So you compromise and settle on Panda Express. Not quite what either of you wanted, but what else is there to do? Now, you can go eat wherever the hell you WANT.
3. No more compromising on movies.
Going to the movie theater is pricey, so it’s not like you can go see every single film that’s playing. While you were totally into seeing Guardians of the Galaxy, your significant other was in a Boyhood kind of mood. So, one of you either had to cave, or you had to choose another movie that met your individual requirements. So romantic.
4. You get to see all your friends again! All the time!
It’s hard to maintain friendships when you’re in a super serious relationship. Especially if you’ve moved in together; once that happens, you can basically bid those endless nights of wine and Keeping up with the Kardashians farewell, because that’s just not going to happen as frequently. Once you’re a free bird though, you can bust out the wine, make amends with friends if necessary, and keep the party going as though it never stopped.
5. You can still wear your lingerie. . .for yourself.
Just because you don’t have anyone to see you almost-naked at the moment, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dress up on your own. Get dolled up and enjoy a romantic night in with your gorgeous self.
6. The bed is ALL YOURS.
No more sheet tugging. No more getting accidentally shoved to the side or squished by an unconscious weighty arm. No more sweat and snoring. Your bed is now your REM palace and no one else’s.
7. No more playing “mom.”
As Freudian as that sounds, sometimes we take on a more parental role than we’re actually OK with. We remind our significant others to make doctor’s appointments, to maybe not get McDonald’s for lunch everyday, to remember their vitamins. And this can get exhausting, and after a while, you feel mega resentment. Not fun.
8. No more kind-of-awkward “can my boyfriend come too?” talks with friends.
You know those talks. Your friend will invite you out with some of her friends and your boyfriend will seem kind of interested in joining, so then you feel obligated to invite him, but not until you clear it with everyone else, and UGH. No more of that. That was stressful.
9. You don’t have to put up with his TV shows anymore.
And you don’t have to deal with judge-y eye-rolling as you tune in to America’s Next Top Model.
10. No more feeling guilty.
First of all, people shouldn’t make you feel guilty about things because that is just lame. But sometimes that happens in relationships. Maybe your boyfriend made you feel badly about past relationships. Or even going and getting drinks without him. This was aggravating and unfair, and now you don’t have to deal with that pettiness anymore. Hooray!
11. You discover things about yourself you didn’t know about before
Initially, you might really regret breaking up with your guy. Or maybe you feel really, really angry that he broke up with you. Totally normal and reasonable feelings. It’s truly hard to let go of a person you were very close to. However, as alone and weird as you might feel, you figure out things about yourself that you may had been ignoring. For instance, maybe you didn’t even realize just how little time you spent with your friends. Or how few books you read this year. Or that you’ve completely neglected calling your family. Or that it feels nice not to nag someone to do the dishes for the umpteenth time. Take this time and treat yourself like you’re on a vacation with. . . yourself. You should pay more attention to your wants, and your needs. This is the Year of You.