There is a kind of love that exists in the world that is so powerful, it feels magical. When you are in love like that, you feel like Jasmine and Aladdin on their magic carpet, flying through the sky. It’s super cheesy, but it’s true. When you first found that person, you probably, in spite of yourself, broke out into song a few different times. Or at least, you really wanted to.
But turning that flush of magic into something that’s going to work in the longterm—through hard times and empty paper towel rolls and the ordinary trials you have to go through as a human—is tricky. Have you found that person who not only makes you feel like you’re floating on air, but who’s also someone that you might want to, like, buy a house with? Here are some ways you can tell that you’re in a relationship that could last.
Above all else, you’re besties
You both have other best friends too, of course. Your partner isn’t there to replace your childhood BFF or become your entire social circle. But if when you think “emergency contact” that person is the natural fit, every time, as well as the person you can’t wait to talk about the last episode of The Walking Dead with? That’s a really good sign.
You support each other in your careers
No matter how different your professional goals are, whether you want to be a teacher, work in the home and run a household full time, become a lawyer, an artist, or whatever!, you always encourage and support each other. You hold hands through the difficult days and you celebrate the great days. And it is never a competition between you two. Which one of you makes more money or has the higher position, doesn’t mean anything to you guys. You just want to support each other in any way you can.
You can hardcore, ugly cry in front of each other.
You know the one I’m talking about? Like, where you’re not really even crying anymore—You’re just kind of moaning and letting out really aggressive breaths. Not a couple tears with a hanky. Like, puffy face, feels like your eyes are full of sand sobbing. This is significant because being able to cry in front of each other, means that you can be emotionally open and vulnerable with one another. And that is so important for your relationship.
You trust each other completely
Trust will make or break a relationship. And you both know that. But you totally trust each other because you never give each other a reason not to. And, if and when insecurities pop up, you share them and respectfully and delicately discuss them as partners. Because trust is key and it’s something that is maintained through healthy communication and respect.
You’re cool with each other’s grooming rituals
So it’s not the most romantic part of a relationship, but it’s definitely a sign that things are solid: Being able to share a bathroom mirror while you both get ready in the morning or go to sleep at night. Flossing or clipping your nails near your partner means that you’re totally comfortable with them. It’s not the most elegant part of your relationship; it probably won’t be featured on this year’s holiday card. But it’s awesome.
You can tell each other anything.
And you want to tell each other everything—Your thoughts, your feelings, how much you love and appreciate each other, that really hilarious thing that Lorelai said about pizza, etc.! You even want to tell each other the hard stuff; the stuff that you’d rather not share sometimes. Everything from, “Babe, that really hurt my feelings…” to “Honey, I love you, but I don’t think that thing you said back there was totally appropriate to say in front of my Grandma,” to “Hey, I love you, but I am super frustrated with you right now.”
Because you both know that communication is essential to a solid relationship. And you understand that you have to be able to communicate openly and honestly, even when it’s hard or uncomfortable.
You never tear each other down when you argue
Arguments are going to happen when you’re sharing your life with someone. That’s just a given. But the way that you fight is super important—I like to call the good kind of fighting, “Constructive Fighting.” This means that even when you fight, you show respect and love for one another. And when you get too angry, you know to take a quick bathroom break or walk around the yard because you don’t want to say something hurtful to your partner in the moment.
My husband and I are incredibly loud people. We’re loud when we’re happy, we’re loud when we’re sad, and we’re loud when we’re angry. But. We are never mean. And we are, most certainly, never cruel to one another.
You still find little ways your partner is amazing
Sometimes, things get so busy and hectic that people forget to step back and enjoy the person they are sharing their life with. But you guys don’t forget! It’s a priority to you both to make time for one another.
From trying new restaurants, to weekly date nights, you two love being together. You can even have fun doing boring things like Spring Cleaning or going to the grocery store. Because you love, adore, and get a kick out of each other! I mean, you chose each other for a reason, right?!
You laugh, and play, and really enjoy one another.
You whole-heartedly respect each other
You really respect each other as individuals. There are so many wonderful things about your spouse that you don’t even know where to begin! You respect each other’s wants, needs, and passions! And you always treat each other with kindness.
As you move through life, you want to work, develop, and grow together, as unique individuals and as a couple! You genuinely encourage that personal growth for your partner just as they encourage the same for you. You also always make sure to treat each other with respect. You honor and value each other and you know that a respectful, loving relationship is a strong relationship.
You’re smiling right now thinking about that person
You’re probably smiling at your computer screen right now, right? That person still has that power. And that’s the best sign of all.
Katherine Sangiorgio is a UCLA grad, turned freelance writer who loves Star Wars and Sleeping Beauty equally, uncontrollably claps when she laughs, and curses like a sailor… but, like, a cute sailor. Katherine loves to spend her free time kickin’ it with her crazy-awesome husband and their cat, Joey Tribbiani. You can catch up with Katherine at www.Facebook.com/KatherineSangiorgio and follow her on Twitter at @KathSangiorgio.
[Image via Universal Pitcures]