Off-the-wall bookish inventions that absolutely need to exist

I have a lot of random bookish ideas running around in my head (you know, along with thoughts about lunch. And dinner. And eating said lunch and dinner with Chris Hemsworth while he serenades me with a back rub and a mad game of Scattegories . . . ) What? Did I just say that?

Anyway, back to the books. With the holidays right around the corner, I thought I would share some of these bookish ideas with you all. Consider this a wish list if you’d like. Some of these ideas might not make much sense. Others may seem downright insane in the membrane. But hey, I got big dreams. BIG, I tell ya!

Scratch and sniff cookbooks

Are you curious what aroma is going to fill your kitchen when you start making that scrumptious lasagna recipe? What about that double-fudge molten lava chocolate cake with extra fudge sauce? C’mon science, catch up. Find a way for me to smell my food before really committing. I am not the best when it comes to making decisions, especially when those decisions involve food because let’s face it, I just want it all. But having the ability to sniff out the intended product beforehand without having to get knee-deep in flour and butter (although that does sound like a fun Saturday night) would be perfect!

Books that punish you for making bad life decisions

I am a bonafide book fan. Nope, book nerd. OK, I’m a book fiend, a book lover, and some might even say a book hoarder. But don’t worry, I just got a book about 12 step programs that’s supposed to help with that.

When I skip out on a few hours of sleep (and by few I mean four. Or six.) to lie in bed and plow through the last 100 pages of Gone Girl, I get mad at myself the next day for not being a fully-functioning adult. Oh who am I kidding? Books > sleep any day! However it does make for a rather longgggg next day and I’m sure my boss doesn’t appreciate the snores and drooling coming from my office. If there were reasonably priced hardcover books that tied into the health feature on my smartphone and only opened if I had gotten my eight hours of zzzz’s the previous night, I’d buy them in a heartbeat. Again, where you at, science?

Delivery bugs

I’m talking, a business that competes with Amazon drones based around a system of toy remote control mini VW Bugs that deliver books right to your doorstep. My official Roomba literary army. Bring it, Bezos.

Edible books

And not just any kind of edible books, I want edible books made from some type of sugar paper. You’d be able to take these on camping trips, that way your pack would be a little lighter by the last day, and you’d always have a back up source of food if something’s off with your supply. I would definitely start with Julie & Julia.

I really don’t know what to call this

But I’m imagining a thing kind of like an advent chocolate calendar where you punch the candy out of the little box each day. Except instead of a reward for a new day dawning, you get a reward for every chapter you finish of War and Peace. I’ve been stuck somewhere around page 400 for about two five years now. Get me dem chocolates.

Magical bookshelves

A magical bookshelf that can grow and expand as you add more books to it. That’s feasible, right?

Like I said, kind of insane but totally and 110% awesome! So ready for all of these. Lez go.