Lindsay’s (Former) Lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, Throws Down The Gavel

Now, now, now, honey. You better sit down and look around. ‘Cause you must’ve bumped yo’ head. And I like you enough to talk some sense back into you, girl.

I’d hate to see you go home, your Fendi, your Gucci AND Terry Richardson is gone.

Check Shawn Holley’s credentials. She gave you everything you want, everything you need. Even your friends said she’s a good lawyer.

All I need to know is why?

WHY did you fire the only person in your life who has access to a paddle on your journey up Sh*t’s Creek??!

SMH.

So yeah. Lindsay Lohan fired her longtime lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, for whatever reason. Probably because it was a Wednesday and on Wednesdays, we wear pink and Holley was wearing navy. And then LiLo begged her to come back.

You know what Holley said? She told Lindsay to shove it where the cigarettes don’t smoke. JK. Those weren’t her exact words, but the general sentiment was, “No thanks.”

TMZ reports that “Holley is in the process of filling out paperwork and getting the necessary signatures to officially withdraw from the case … before Lindsay’s hearing on January 30. ”

And for that, Lohan owes her the biggest Edible Arrangements arrangement that can possibly be arranged. (She also legitimately owes Holley like, $300K, so maybe deal with that first). I would venture to guess that Lindsay’s lawyer is one of the few people to have told her “No” in recent memory. She’s surrounded by enablers (yes, I said it – she desperately needs guidance from the people around her … or at least some consequences), as is apparent by her repeatedly crazy behavior, and without Holley, who has pulled her out of some serious situations by the split-ends of her extensions, she just might go to jail. Again. But for real this time. (See also: consequences).

Because now, Lindsay has had to hire another lawyer in an emergency fashion, and the lawyer she chose isn’t licensed to practice law in California and has to have some sort of sponsor, or something. I don’t know. But this does not bode well. Not for LiLo, at least.

But Shawn could not look better. She did what everyone else in Lohan’s entourage is probably getting paid NOT to do, which is to put Baby in a corner.

The defense rests.

*drops the mic*

Featured image via The Daily Mail