Lily Collins Recalls Verbal Abuse From Her Toxic Ex: “He Would Call Me ‘Little Lily'”
The actress said she was "made to feel very small" while dating an old toxic ex-boyfriend.
Lily Collins is getting vulnerable. During her guest appearance on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast with Glennon Doyle, Collins opened up about the verbal and emotional abuse she faced at the hands of a toxic ex-boyfriend, who left her feeling “comfortable in silence” and as if she “had to make myself small to feel super safe.”
“For me, my romantic toxic relationship was verbal and emotional abuse and being made to feel very small,” Collins recalled on the podcast episode, which dropped on Tuesday, Feb. 7th.
The Emily in Paris star recalled how her ex would lash out using “awful words” and “belittling words.”
“He would call me ‘Little Lily’…and he’d use awful words about me in terms of what I was wearing and would call me a whore and all these things,” Collins continued.
She said the abuse was so bad, she began to recluse. As a result, Collins began to experience bouts of “panic” and “anxiety.”
The Love, Rosie actress has been involved with several A-list celebrities over the years including Chris Evans, Nick Jonas, Zac Efron, and her Abduction costar, Taylor Lautner.
She was also in an on-again, off-again relationship with her The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones costar, Jamie Campbell Bower, for three years.
For the interview, Collins kept the identity of her ex-partner anonymous.
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In 2019, Collins got her fairytale ending with Charlie McDowell. Though they’re happily married, Collins said there are still times when the panic from her past relationship creeps in.
“The situations are completely different 10 years ago to now. That panic is what I can still get triggered by,” she said. “Even if I’m in the most healthy relationship, there can be a moment that happens throughout the day where history comes back like that.”
She further explained, “It’s like a millisecond, or shorter than a millisecond, and your gut reacts, your heart starts beating, and all of a sudden you’re taken back to that moment where they said that thing to you 10 years ago, but you’re not in that situation now and that’s the trigger and it’s f***ing hard. It’s awful.”
With help from a therapist and her husband, Collins is learning how to communicate when her old triggers do arise. She added that she and McDowell “talk about so much,” which has helped her recover “into her biggest, brightest self.”
