Galactic Guidance, a Zodiac Advice Column: What if my partner's sign isn't compatible with my own?
When your horoscope app doesn’t have the answers, look to the stars for advice. And by that, we mean look to Gala Galactic, HelloGiggles’ resident zodiac advice columnist. If you’ve got zodiac questions, she’s got answers for Galactic Guidance: A Zodiac Advice Column. All you have to do is send your Qs to firstname.lastname@example.org.
I have a question about zodiac compatibility. What if my partner’s zodiac sign isn’t compatible with my own? Should we part ways? I’m an Aquarius and my partner is a Pisces. On our second date, we took a look at our zodiac compatibility and things weren’t looking good. Basically, it said that we are mostly sexually compatible, but that we will have a lot of communication issues. What should I do?
Dear Supposedly Star-Crossed,
Let’s talk about compatibility, in the sky and between us here on Earth. To be compatible in the sky, two people should have natal (birth) charts that complement each other. This complementary couple can manifest an ebb and flow in their relationship — when one person needs support, the other offers strength; a dreamer and a doer. Or, this couple can link up based on shared passions and energetic investments.
When an astrologer looks at the combined natal charts of two lovers, they look far beyond your Sun signs (that you are an Aquarius and your sweetie a Pisces). This practice of comparison, or zodiac compatibility, is called Synastry, and a trained eye will want to know where the planets Mars, Venus, Saturn, and Pluto, to name a few, were at the time of your birth. The placement of the moon and the time of day you were born will play a factor, each small bit of information adding up to a wheel of knowledge.
Certain astrologers will encourage you to go after people whose planetary placement sync up well with your own and to stay away from oppositions in the wheel, claiming that two people with planets that oppose each other will never find peace.
That being said, I’m much more curious about your idea of compatibility and what has brought you here. Skipping over the fact that, surface-wise, there’s nothing inherently incompatible about Aquarius and Pisces (the wind that moves the waves has a great deal of affinity for the fish that swim in them), I’ve got questions about the way you’ve framed your query and what that might reveal to us.
You write that an online test you took on your second date claimed that both of you are sexually compatible but troubled with words. Have you found out for yourself, outside of tests, if this is true? Second dates are for figuring out if the charm and good company can stay consistent. Communication styles and preferences are only beginning to be negotiated and understood. If you’re already physically intimate on the second date, you’re still far from learning what true sexual compatibility will look like in the long-term (love opens doors in sex and time transforms it).
What I’m saying is, even those of us who have “hit it off” right from the outset know that most couples learn and re-learn to communicate with each other as their relationship evolves. Compatibility is more than likeness, more than shared interests, more than getting turned on the moment you’re near each other. It’s about two (or more!) people negotiating time and space together in a way that allows them to not only survive, but thrive.
Where Aquarius dreams up a community, Pisces nurtures connections. Where Pisces responds to emotional waves, Aquarius seeks emotional purpose. If you want the stars to help navigate your love, you’ll need to put a few more (planet) points on the map.
But for now, spend more time with each other. Learn each other’s love languages, family communication styles, and cultural backgrounds. Ask: “What makes you feel valued?” “What makes you feel heard?” “What words give you pleasure?”
You might find that your communication problems are a chance for both of you to get better at asking for what you want and talking about what feels good. Or, you might find that the whole thing is an exercise in spotting red flags and learning to let go. Some relationships have to be lived in before you can know what’s there.
All the best,