Galactic Guidance, a Zodiac Advice Column: Should I stay with my S.O. even if our signs aren't compatible?
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I recently checked the compatibility between Cancer woman and Aquarius man and they say that their compatibility is the worst, yet I’m very much in love with an Aquarius man and we bond really well together. Should I believe in the zodiac after all?
Head Over Claws in Love
Dear Head over Claws,
It’s true that there are many things, generally, that might make romance between Aquarius and Cancer an uphill journey. Cancers are water signs and they deal with emotions through experience, recognition, and process. When a heavy wave of sadness, joy, or anger, starts to crest, they catch that wave and ride it out to shore. In both the depths and shallows of an emotion, a Cancer is in her element and she’s not afraid to feel it all. An Aquarius, on the other hand, is an air sign and, as an air sign, is associated more with the realm of the mind. Aquarians are often described as emotionally inscrutable. They can appear to keep a cool distance and are said to privilege the head over the heart. Many Aquarians carry an inherent need for space and time to allow themselves the experience of an emotion—often harboring the foreign feeling in a compartmentalized place until they are ready to give it their undivided attention and care.
If nothing else, this supposedly opposing approach is enough to create disharmony and tension—especially when two people seek to know and care for each other in vulnerable and intimate conditions. However, I trust that you are clever enough to foresee how the inverse of this kind of dynamic could come into play. How emotionally perceptive Cancer could support thoughtful Aquarius, recognizing and respecting their emotional process while teaching them to become more comfortable with recognizing their emotions as they occur. And, how mindful Aquarius could be of great value to sensitive Cancer, showing them feelings are valid—yes—but they are not facts and need not govern our state of being.
Head over Claws, I offer you all this to consider as a preamble because what I’m about to say next is something that you will hear repeatedly the deeper you delve (if you should choose to delve) into astrology: Sun sign compatibility is not a worthwhile test of compatibility. Astrology is a complex system, and each person is much more than their Sun sign (yours being Cancer, his being Aquarius).
At the time you were born, the moon was under a certain sign, and Venus and Mars were, too. Those and many other planetary placements can greatly affect your personal expression and make you appear and act quite different from the sign you know yourself to be. There is nuance in the stars, my dear, and because of this, astrologers use varying systems of comparison for matchmaking and romantic destiny. There are synastry charts and composite charts and horary astrology for specific questions, too. Which is all to say, no—your apparent compatibility with this Aquarius does nothing to disprove astrology. It only proves that whatever is written in your romantic stars, it’s a good story and worth reading ’til the end.