Natasha Reda
Updated Dec 25, 2017 @ 8:54 am
single woman
Credit: Pexels

Aimée Lutkin, a New York-based writer, wrote an article for Jezebel a year ago that asked the question, “When Can I Say I’ll Be Alone Forever?” In it, she dives head first into the reality that some people will always be single – and that it’s OK. Not only is that refreshing to hear, but it lends a voice to something so many of us single people have often thought.

There comes a point in some of our lives when we wonder if maybe — just maybe — we’ll be single forever. But in a culture where we’re conditioned to believe that there’s a person for everyone and that finding “The One” is the end goal, that can be hard to come to terms with.

In a podcast called The Lonely Hour, Ludkin clarifies her thoughts, saying, “I also believe that people don’t want to accept the idea that someone who’s, you know, fun or cool or interesting, who they like, isn’t guaranteed love,” she said. “But love isn’t a guarantee at all, for anyone. You don’t get it because you’re good. You don’t get it because you’re beautiful. You don’t get it because you’re smart. Like, it is a combination of luck and hard work and commitment and it can’t be guaranteed.”

However, Lutkin also notes that this isn’t a good or a bad thing, since people can feel lonely, disconnected, or like they want more from life whether they’re single or in a couple. But it can be hard to fully accept this when friends, family, and pop culture often tries to convince us otherwise. In her essay, Lutkin writes:

In other words, she wishes people would allow her to say there’s a possibility that she may never be in love, and that’s okay.

We have a feeling so very many people will relate to Lutkin’s words and experience, and we genuinely hope this helps spark a change in how people perceive words like “single” and “the one.” It also reminds us that — even when we may feel like it – we are never alone, and there are always people out there who can relate to what we’re going through.