Jill Layton
March 23, 2016 12:44 pm
Comedy Central

If you’ve been on the dating scene, you’ve probably had at least one dating horror story happen to you. But have you ever been on a date and wound up with poop in your purse? Probably not. But that’s exactly what happened to one woman who was on a first date.

Now, we’re sort of hoping this story isn’t real, because OMG. But we’re also hoping it’s completely real, because it’s absolutely hilarious and frightening.

Twitter user @_blotty who goes by the alias “Misunderstood Worm,” posted about her poop in a series of 17 tweets. And the story she told is insanely amazing.

We’ll get right to it.

We’re listening.

Seems reasonable enough.

Oh no. We know where this is going, and we’re already concerned.

Yep, we’ve all been there. Or we’ve at least seen it happen in movies.

No.

Yep… she did it.

Always plan these things out first!!

No.

Noooooooooooo.

Because duh.

Why didn’t she pretend to forget something in her car and throw it in the bushes? Dogs do it.

We agree with sister. This is borderline too much (but still so good).

Yes, girl. Go! Do it!

Come on, Gods.

Yes!!!!!!!

He’s better off not knowing.

Except now he probably knows.

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