Do you feel it? The energy is heavier, the air has stilled, and there’s something stirring in our bones. It’s the call of winter, and we have no choice but to answer. The Winter Solstice marks the first day of winter and the longest night of the year. The Solstice is a day of deep introspection, when we’re guided to our soul’s darker crevices in the name of self-exploration. For those in a relationship, the Winter Solstice, which takes place on December 21st, is a time for self-work; for seeing what it is you bring to a relationship, what your partner brings, and what’s missing.
The Winter Solstice also signifies the beginning of the waxing year. From here on out, each day will be a little longer, up until the Summer Solstice in six months, which is the longest day of the year. After the Winter Solstice, we specifically have an invitation to bring more warmth and light to our relationships, while still having the opportunity to explore our own shadows and desires as well.
The Winter Solstice is all about talking to our demons, exploring our shadows, and finding strength in ourselves.
In relationships, it’s easy to find one’s identity in a significant other. Their favorites become our favorites, their hates become our hates, and their hearts? Well, they become one with ours.
Though this is a beautiful feeling, during the Winter Solstice we’re reminded of our own individuality. This is a time when we explore our own depths, our own desires, and our own shadows lurking way beneath the surface. The thing is, this part of ourselves belongs to no one else. So if you’re in a relationship, this is the perfect cosmic invitation to sit with as you see what it is you need to work on this coming season (and year!).
The Winter Solstice marks the end of one cycle and the beginning of another. Take some time to be by yourself, away from your significant other, to really get an idea of where you are mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. What is it you’re looking to bring to this relationship? What desires still need to be fulfilled? Are there any personal issues, feelings, or emotions that you’re still working through? Journaling and meditating on these questions can help bring clarity and illumination to your feelings. Try to be as honest as possible when answering them, even if they’re uncomfortable, and write your feelings down to share with your partner.
Want to explore new facets of your sexuality or try something new in the bedroom? Let your boo know! Want more alone time to work on yourself? Share that with bae! Have your partner follow this same practice, spending time alone to do some deep introspection. Then, when you’re both done, you can come together and communicate your own needs, feelings, and emotions in a space that honors each other’s needs as sacred.
A relationship is a two-way street, and sometimes the road needs a little work.
The Winter Solstice is the perfect time to do this work, checking in with yourself and your partner to make sure the new year and season start off on the right foot. You can create a ritual out of the process by checking in, lighting candles, putting on some good music, and really honoring the space you’re in in the present moment. There’s no wrong way to do this inner work — what really matters is that you do it at all and come from a place of honesty with your partner.
So grab your favorite journal and pen, some tea or wine, and your pet — and get going. Allow yourself to be completely honest, knowing that the truth is always the best answer. Allow yourself to honor your darkness, shadows, and desires without shame.
Your needs are important in a relationship, and though honoring them may cause some unexpected bumps, it’s worth it in the end. Share your truest self with your partner this Winter Solstice and watch 2018 unfold as the most magical year yet.