Winter is coming. Like, really — it’s pretty much here. After spending three months in the transformative energy of fall, we submerge into the darkness of winter. The temperatures drop, we’re drawn to time alone, and our spirits start turning inward. Then, on December 21st, we welcome the official beginning of the season. This is the longest night of the year, the Winter Solstice. And if you’re single, this is an opportunity to figure out your own needs, desires, and wants so you can show up as your fullest self for whatever sort of relationship you’re looking for.
The Winter Solstice is an invitation to sit with your truest, deepest self.
Six months ago, we welcomed the Summer Solstice. This was the longest day of the year, the energetic climax of the year. The Summer Solstice is expansive, it’s bright, it’s warm. The Winter Solstice? Well, not so much. The Winter Solstice is a day of darkness, of inner exploration, of embarking through the tunnels of your heart to find your truest self, even if she’s in the shadows of a cave buried deep within.
The Winter Solstice is a time of solitude, but also marks a season of growth.
The energy of this holiday is a lot like that of The Hermit in the tarot deck. This being likes solitude, being by themselves, and prefers doing all of the above in their own home, far away from people and interruptions. This quiet, self-focused energy is only matched by the fact that after the Winter Solstice, the days start getting longer, which marks the beginning of the waxing year, leading to the longest day at the Summer Solstice.
If you’re single, use the Winter Solstice to go inward and clarify what it is you want. After the solstice, you can focus on growing this as the light of each day grows alongside you.
Start by taking time to yourself and honoring it as sacred.
To honor the energy of the solstice, take time to yourself by creating a ritual out of reflection. Buy yourself some flowers or a new journal, make some tea, put on your favorite record, and burn some incense. You can burn herbs like palo santo, sage, or sweet grass to energetically cleanse your space. Turn your phone on silent, let any roomies know you’re not to be interrupted, and start to get quiet while you focus on your breath. Have a journal at the ready with any drinks, crystals, or whatever else it is that you need. Take at least three deep breaths as you start to melt into your body. As you breathe, let out any sounds or movements necessary to help you feel more present. You can meditate, imagining a staircase that leads into the cavern of your heart, seeing if you find or feel anything there. You can also choose to listen to a guided meditation during this time.
The solstice is asking us to show up as our fullest self and to recognize the gifts we can bring to a relationship with someone else. You can journal around this, or free write, allowing yourself to “word vomit” on the page. What part of you has been shamed that needs some love? What are your desires? What part of your darkness is integral in who you are? Can you choose to only bring your fullest, deepest self to a partnership? Start to journal and see where this takes you.
You can also take note of any desires you have in another partner, journaling around this or simply keeping a list. Really take time to honor your needs where you are right now while in this ritual space. Once you feel like the ritual is complete, drink some water, and do something nice for yourself. Watch a favorite movie, snuggle with your pet, exercise or do yoga.
Even if you only have a few minutes to sit and think about what it is your darkness holds, and what deep love you can bring to a relationship, it’s worth it. The energy is always still at times of transition, such as when the solstice shifts seasons. We have an invitation to access ourselves in a special way at this time. And if you want to find some love in 2018, now is the time to start. No matter how you go about this, may it lead you to see yourself as the beautiful, radiant, deep, dark piece of divinity you are.