Karen Fratti
November 24, 2017 8:14 am

Ever since we watched Abbi Jacobson try it out on Broad City, we have been fascinated with pegging. In case you missed it, or this is the first time you’re hearing about this empowering sex act, pegging is when a woman wears a strap-on dildo and penetrates her partner anally. Usually, pegging is often reserved to describe the act between heterosexual couples, so it’s a woman flipping the traditional gender dynamic and “banging” the man. But there are tons of lesbians out there who also never leave for a date without their strap-on in their bag so that they can penetrate their partners both vaginally and anally.

So, really, anyone can peg or be pegged. It’s an equal opportunity sex act.

Some feminists are conflicted about pegging. Like, is it about penis envy? We don’t need a penis to have an orgasm, so why try one on? Like so many other sexual acts, we say try not to think about it too much if the idea of it turns you and your partner on. But let’s not ignore the fact that there is definitely a power dynamic between a bottom and a top, or the one doing the penetrating and the one getting penatrated, and being able to flip the roles now and again is sort of tempting — for some! But there are all kinds of reasons you might want to float the idea of pegging with your partners. Let’s get started.

1Okay, the gender role thing is a big draw to some.

It’s been a rough year to be a woman and no one is going to blame you if the idea of taking charge and being the one to penetrate your boyfriend is the main reason you want to peg him. Seriously! Not in an ANGRY way (you should never, ever have rough sex unless that’s something you and your partner agree to) or in the name of “screwing” all of mankind, but to reclaim some power, at least in the bedroom. It’s a thing.

One woman told Vogue about her pegging journey, “It’s such a shift in the power dynamic. I kept thinking, I’m literally penetrating someone right now. Plus, it’s a vaginal workout because you have to grip the dildo with your vagina while you use it. It’s basically exercise, which I love.”

With heterosexual couples, there aren’t a lot of ways the woman gets to control the pace and pleasure factor. Sure, we’re active partners in penetrative sex, and yes we can be on top, but there’s a vulnerability that comes with being the person on the receiving end of penetration. If the feeling of control and providing pleasure is one of the main draws for you when it comes to blowjobs, you might be into pegging. Plus, rumor has it that the strap-on can often provide clitoral stimulation, so there’s something for everyone.

2It forces you to *really* communicate.

Because of these traditional gender roles we’re all stuck in, bringing up pegging with your partner is a big deal. Broaching the subject will take some confidence, no doubt. As women, we’re often taught that the mere act of enjoying sex — let alone some kinky sex — makes us “sluts.” It doesn’t. It’s healthy to like sex, just like it’s healthy to know that you don’t like sex. Whenever you can identify and own your desires, you’re on the right track.

Talking about what you want in bed, before, during, and after the act, is so important and makes for better sex in the long run. Having the confidence in the bedroom to talk about your needs is not an easy skill to learn, so kudos to you for trying. Keep at it: Once you start to feel comfortable telling your partners what you need to get off, your entire sexual life will change.

And you shouldn’t just be talking about what you want before sex, but during it, too. With most of your partners, it probably wouldn’t be a great idea to whip out your strap on mid-sex and tell them to roll over. Pegging is something you should go over before you take your clothes off and make sure everyone’s on board with. As you might know, anal sex takes a lot of getting used to. So while you’re pegging someone, you’re going to have to ease into it and communicate with your partner until you find the right flow — just like you should be doing when they’re penetrating you.

3Um, some men seem to really like it.

Again with the gender roles, right? A lot of men are really not into the idea of butt play at all during sex, even though they’ve never tried it. (Even some gay men, despite the stereotypes!) So your hetero boyfriend might be totally against even thinking about the idea of pegging. However, you might find that your man has introduced some anal action into his own masturbatory routine, since a lot of men can enhance their orgasms with a prostate massage.

The prostate is a gland in the anal canal that only men have. In reality, it’s a walnut sized reproductive gland that helps men make sperm. However, if massaged correctly from the outside (it’s right under the perineum, or the area of skin between the testicles and anus) or stimulated by pegging, it can lead to a phenomenal orgasm. Pegging is one way to get a man off without any other work involved, much like how some women enjoy their orgasms more through anal sex. This should go without saying, but obviously, if a guy says he doesn’t want you near his butt, respect his wishes, much like he should as soon as you say “no” to something.

4You might find other toys and kinks you like.

Your partner might not be into pegging, but the mere act of asking could lead to a better conversation about what they do want. Like, maybe he’s not okay with a strap on, but is totally into trying a prostrate massage with your fingers. Or literally anything else you two might want to try together.

If you do decide to try pegging and are in a relationship with someone who’s down, taking a trip to the sex shop to pick out a strap on and lube together (never forget the lube!) is a super fun bonding activity. When you get back to the house, we guarantee your sex will be way hotter than usual. There’s something about sharing sexual fantasies with your partner that almost always ends up bringing you closer together. Pegging is definitely not for beginners, but it’s something to think about for sure. If anything, it’s worth trying just to get in touch with your sexual fantasies and learning how to talk about them.

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