Sammy Nickalls
August 14, 2015 12:54 pm

We all have that one friend with a wacky name. (Personally, I know someone named Ransom. I had never heard that one in my life before.) But a weird trend started in 2014, guys. It really seems as though new parents just opened up a dictionary at random and named their kids after the first word they saw. Or maybe they looked around their living room and chose a random object to name their baby-to-be. WHO KNOWS.

Nameberry, a baby name website, put together a list from the extended Social Security list for 2014 of the absolutely craziest words people have chosen to name their child. And some of them are pretty crazy. . . check it out:

Alias – Yep, in about five or six years, 28 teachers will have a boy named “Alias” on their roster, and they will absolutely think it’s a typo.

Awesome – Five baby boys can actually say they’re Awesome. So many puns to be made. (And we think they can probably make some pretty great How I Met Your Mother jokes, TBH). Seems like a lot of parents thought using complimentary adjectives would be a good idea in 2014, because more than just a few children were named Savvy, Honest, Holy, Majestic, and Handsome in 2014. Perhaps this is a strategic confidence-boosting move?

Boss – Again, perhaps this was meant as a very, very early career move. How cool would it be if your boss was actually named Boss? Well, a dozen new Bosses came into the world in 2014, along with 26 Captains, 16 Chiefs, 12 Masters, 24 Goddesses (coolest name EVER), and 10 Czarinas.

Couture – Apparently, many fashionistas became new parents in last year. According to Nameberry, hundreds of parents named their child Chanel and Armani, with others choosing fabrics like Denim and Velvet. Some just kept it general with Styles, Stylez, and Couture.

Eliminate – Five little girls were named Eliminate. WHY. HOW DID ANYONE THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA. Unless you want your bouncing baby girl to be some sort of newborn Terminator, we just don’t get it.

Gamble – Sure, yeah, name your new child after your vice. Why not. (There were also kids named Trust, Fate, Winner, and Victorious — as well as Lucky, which is just ASKING for that child to be a total klutz.)

Halo – OK, we really hope this isn’t an obsession with the video game and is actualy after our bae Beyonce. But hey, new parents in 2014 could just be fans of all things Angelic, because Heaven was #338 in names for girls while Neveah (heaven spelled backwards) was #65.

Harsh – Goes right up there with Eliminate, IMO. Why do this to your child? Ruckus, Mayhem, Furious and Rage were also names in 2014, making us think that these parents were predicting a pretty rough 18 years.

Indica – If you didn’t know, this is actually a type of weed, and yeah, there are now 26 baby girls out there who are named after it. 14 girls are named Sativa, and six boys were named Kilo. Colorado, we’re pointin’ the blame in your direction.

Kindle – Yep, 15 girls were named after an electronic reading device last year. We can only hope they end up being strong readers.

Remedy – Yeah, 27 girls are named Remedy. Perhaps because it sounds like Melody? Honestly, it has a nice ring to it — if you take away the meaning that is, because we’d imagine being named after something you can buy at the pharmacy wouldn’t be all that much fun.

Shanty – Though it means “rickety shack,” it also has become a girls name, along with Shade, Sway, Southern, and Shiny. Lots of S’s.

Zeppelin – OK, TBH, this is the coolest name ever. We can only hope they like the band as much as their parents clearly do.

What will 2015 bring in terms of baby names? Hey, couldn’t be any weirder than 2014. Or, actually, it could. Nothing would surprise us anymore.

(Image via Flickr Creative Commons)

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