Ah, the good ‘ol days of shoplifting. Lil Momma (I’m Lil Momma) was the poster child of the five finger discount. I had a sharp tongue, an honest face, and I was the teenage master of distraction. If I were smart, instead of comedy, I would have become a world class thief of, well, candy (and sometimes pumpkins). (In Pittsburgh, we notoriously stole Halloween decorations from the rich and gave them to the poor. Like, Robin Hood…but with pumpkins.)
I know. Genius.
Kirsten Smith, the author of the new book TRINKETS hitting stands TODAY, nails it when it comes to teenage angst and the inner monologues of the lost, bored and lonely life of teenage hood. When life as a young girl seems like it’s the same old same old, three wildly different lives are brought together under unusual (but kind of more usual than you care to admit) circumstances. Stealing.
The moment I met these characters on the page, it was simple. Each of them was missing something that your shyness as a teenager doesn’t have the boldness to admit. So, you search for thrill where you can find it. Elodie, is soft-spoken with a heart. Tabitha is popular, pretty and rich (obvsies) and there’s Moe. Good ‘ol Moe. Moe is wild, sarcastic/over it, but has a side that enjoys a good writing sesh in her diary while soaking in a hot bath. (Don’t tell anyone, she’ll kill you.)
I took to this book immediately. “We need someone that used to steal. (We won’t judge!)” is what the HelloGiggles team said. That’s funny to me. Because that means a lot of people have tried it and now have found other outlets to an adrenaline rush. And, good ‘ol me was one of them. Sure, it was dumb stuff that I could have actually paid for, but that wasn’t the point. Is that strange to hear? Well, get on board because I know that I’m not the only one out there. Granted, the things I lifted were usually from Rite Aid or any CVS of some kind, but still I felt like a spy of sorts. No, it wasn’t always. I used to do it mostly when I thought the staff was mean to me. Or, if I thought tampons were too expensive and “the least America could do was pay for them because I didn’t ask to be a woman, it just happened that way.” Sure, it’s wasn’t right. But, I never really did the right thing anyway. Besides much like Elodie, Tabitha and Moe I was a good person in other ways. (Because I shared the tampons with people that needed them. Again, Robin Hood?)
In the book the reader is reminded a few times of the “Wynonna Ryder incident.” The infamous story heard round the world–rich girl actress steals hundreds upon hundreds of dollars worth of clothing? And, had absolutely no remorse and no fake “whoops I forgot to pay story.’ To me, it was genius. I loved it. I wish more people went off the deep end for a thrill. A safe ‘against the law feel.” It felt real. Chaotic. It felt like I wasn’t alone. But then the other part of me felt like no, that’s not the answer. That’s not how to solve boredom at any age. And it felt like even though a girl that appeared to have it all opted for the rush of doing something against the law, doesn’t mean we should all go that route. But if you have tried it, I’m here to tell you, you are not alone, but also, if you do it again, I’m going to come over there and ground your butt off. Pay for your lifestyle. End of story. Smooches!
Featured Image via Trinkets