'Tis The Season Of Fake Boyfriends
I have to admit, I’ve never brought a boyfriend home for the holidays. However, I can be sure to be questioned on the matter. After a while, the ol’, “I’m not seeing anyone right now” just doesn’t seem to cut it. So, time to get creative. This is the perfect time to craft your ideal boyfriend. Is he a philanthropist? A med student? A traveling musician? Oh the possibilities are endless for us all!
And if we really want to go to extremes, the Photoshopping potential can make any aunt or second cousin totally swoon in holiday delight. Well, maybe fake photos are pushing it, but hey, our relatives don’t think twice about pushing our holiday buttons! So I give you total carte blanche – create away!
Despite the single lady status, the season of fake boyfriends is also the season of perpetual hope. And that dream guy is out there. How do we know this? Not just from the rom coms we love, but also from the latest trend – the Christmas rom com. Just think of a title and the movie you need to soothe your soul that has probably been created in the last five years. A Holiday Engagement. Check. Matchmaker Santa. Check. A Boyfriend for Christmas. A Bride for Christmas. Hitched for the Holidays? Check. Check. Check.
All the sugar cookie wishes and holiday dreams in the world can’t beat the real deal, but before it can be actualized, it has to be realized. So even though we know it’s frowned upon to make a list (too high maintenance) I’m taking a page out of Santa’s book and making a list (and checking it twice) of my Christmas boyfriend requirements:
1. Must help decorate the tree.
2. Cannot be shy about PDA. Hey, mistletoe!
3. Does not get mad about holiday traffic.
4. Loves snow.
5. Will partake in cheesy Christmas activities like singing carols or a holiday lights tour.
6. Can enjoy/tolerate some holiday shopping. Some! Let’s be real.
7. Tries to be a good gift giver. I really don’t need another scarf.
8. Knows that ‘All I want for Christmas’ is the best modern holiday song.
9. Lets me watch all the holiday movies…even Christmas in Handcuffs.
10. Understands that the holidays make me a little crazy (but in a good way).
Any takers? Or do I have to call into a radio show and talk about Christmas magic? It’s out there for sure, maybe I should just leave it up to Santa to deliver — or at least audition for a Hallmark movie.
Jenna Palermo is a designer for ESPN creating content for studio and event productions. She is in the process of completing her MFA in Graphic Design and writing original academic and creative works. With her writing partner Brittni Brown, she works on feature screenplays. You can find her latest rants on Twitter .
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