Thoughts You’ll Have When Your Best Friend Gets Engaged
It’s going to happen. You’re definitely going to laugh about it with them during your second semester freshman year in college; imagining what it will be like when one of you finally falls in love so hard you agree to marry the man of your dreams. You wonder if it will be that RA you “loved” so much that you drank way too much jungle juice in hopes of speaking to him that one night, or if it will be some doctor she’ll meet while fulfilling her pre-med responsibilities.
It’s not going to be that RA, but it just might be that doctor that your best friend meets while she’s a nurse. It’s going to happen and your life is going to change. These are the things you’ll think of when you’re best friend calls to tell you she’s engaged:
1) You’ll realize you should probably change your One Direction “Kiss You” ringtone to something more appropriate since you are at an age that your peers are making big life decisions like marriage.
2) You’ll probably cry. The tears will be a mixture of happiness for her, sadness because life is happening all around very quickly, and confusion of just where you fit in this new world that is your reality. Plus, you are hungover on a Friday and life is just weird when you over indulge in the ‘dancing juice’ on a weeknight.
3) You’ll wonder if she is going to ask you to be a bridesmaid. The answer is no. You want no part of that. You’ll start thinking of lies to get you out of being a bridesmaid if she does ask, and all you can think of are chronic diseases which sound super scary and serious. You wonder just how bad lying is on the karma scale.
4) You’ll think you should probably stop eating the bag of Reese’s Pieces you were consuming for dinner that night. You might want to lose 5 lbs before the wedding because you read about things like that in Cosmo magazine while getting that $5 manicure. (You then wonder if the probable disease you’ll acquire from said manicure can get you out of being a bridesmaid).
5) You’ll think of your finances and realizes you’ll probably have to ask your parents to pay for a dress for the occasion and a wedding present. Something tells you a bottle of wine from Trader Joe’s just isn’t going to cut it as a wedding present. Two-Buck Chuck sounds shady when said at a classy affair.
6) You’ll wonder about your own wedding. When will you get married? Do you already know your future husband? You think of the boy who slept over last weekend and immediately promise yourself to end that because you can’t picture spending the rest of your life with him. (Spoiler alert: You’ll answer his texts and continue hanging out with him for the next 3 months. You’ll also probably drunkenly ask him if he wants to be your date to this wedding).
7) You’ll definitely Google “divorce rate” and think about which celebrity will be your second husband. (FYI, I decided on Leonardo DiCaprio. He’ll be done with supermodels by then).
8) You’ll think of babies. Is your best friend going to have a baby soon? Somehow it’s hard for you to picture her as a mom (even though she’ll be an awesome one) because all you can think of is the time she threw up in the bushes outside some frat house. It was hilarious.
9) You’ll then think of that time you threw up at the frat house and of that RA you loved so much. You’ll sit on Facebook for 20 minutes trying to find him and silently thank all the gods that you didn’t.
10) You’ll call your friend back the next day and demand to know all the details as her and her fiancé decide them. You need to be a part of this situation.
Elyse Marrocco is a green apple enthusiast. Pop culture aficionado. Future best friend of Taylor Swift. Elyse can be found on Twitter (@roccosrev) and at www.roccosrevolution.com.
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