Dia Darling
November 13, 2015 9:47 am

Having a new place is super exciting! I always feel like a new apartment is a blank canvas to write a new story. But what would be even greater is if magic elves perfectly packed, moved and unpacked everything for you while you slept and then you could just wake up in your new apartment to the smell of coffee and bacon. But that is not how moving works.

Going through your stuff, packing, parting with the clothes you no longer wear, lifting heavy boxes, unpacking… from start to finish most people will agree moving is not that fun. It’s even less fun when you are doing it all by yourself. While getting yourself from point A to point B is totally empowering, the actual process can leave you feeling physically and emotionally weak.

I just recently left my apartment for a nicer and slightly larger apartment on the other side of town. I’ve pretty much been ready to move out of my old apartment the whole time I was there and started packing over a month in advance. While I was very excited for my new apartment I was not excited about the actual moving process. Here’s what I was thinking.

Where are all my bras? Why didn’t I label these boxes better?

If I’m going to be lugging boxes up and down stairs, I’m doing it comfortably. That means sports bra, sneakers and oversized basketball shorts. This look is totally acceptable for a move but when you finish and decide to meet up your friends for a (much deserved) drink nothing is more frustrating than not being able to find anything you want to wear. Your digging in boxes and all you can seem to find are towels, your out of season clothes and more sports bras. Did the movers steal my bra box?

When did I get this much stuff?

Seven hundred square feet doesn’t seem like a lot of space when you decide to have more than 4 friends over but when you’re packing and unpacking it seems absolutely enormous.  You find things you thought you lost, had mentally accused friends of taking and friend’s stuff you didn’t know you even realize you still had. No one needs this many hair straighteners!

Maybe I should quit my job and just work for a moving company, my calves would look amazing.

Everything hurts! You made countless trips up and down a flight of stairs and have no idea how people do this for a living. You’re feeling serious out of shape and realize your body didn’t hurt this bad that time you tried CrossFit.

Why did I blow off that date with that truck?!?

That one truck-driving dude I met on Tinder wasn’t totally creepy. You’re recounting to yourself every person you’ve ever cut ties with who had a truck and trying to remember why as you try to shove another box into your Hybrid.

Oh hey another bruise!

You can’t remember if it’s a result of when you dropped that box and only made things worse by trying to save it or it it’s from when you tripped over the boxes blocking your path. Either way you mentally add it to your list of battle wounds.

I’m never moving again! If I ever get married we’re just having separate apartments!

You swear this is the last time you will put yourself through this and really mean it! You will not ever carry another box up the stairs. You’re happy with the idea of dying in that one bedroom apartment at 100. Your partner and kids can visit you but you are never leaving this apartment…

But then you get your lease renewal and rent dramatically increased, you get a job in a new city or whatever and then do it all again. Sigh.

[Image via FOX]

Advertisement