A Boston College and University of Houston study has revealed that the key to saying “no” lies in the difference between “I can’t” and “I don’t.”
Sometimes, whether we really want to or not, we just aren’t able to follow through on the favor or task requested of us and we have to say no. It’s not always easy, though.
The study [PDF] indicated that subjects who said “I don’t skip exercise” instead of “I can’t skip exercise” ended up working out more.
SUCCESS Magazine’s Mel Robbins cited the study in a new video aimed at teaching people how to say “no,” which is an important step for success at home, at work, and everywhere inbetween.
“It’s not only important for you and me to learn how to say no, it’s actually essential that we understand how to say it,” Robbins said. “When you say ‘Look, I don’t buy a car right after I test drive it,’ there’s no room for negotiation. If you say ‘I can’t buy a car after I test drive it,’ now I’m gonna try and change your mind from can’t to can.”
She continued to explain that “don’t” signals your decision is made, and that’s that.
It keeps you in control, which is invaluable in pretty much every aspect of life — especially when we need to stick to our workout schedules!