Kenya Foy
June 20, 2017 1:32 pm
Miramax

Sharing space is one thing, but there’s nothing quite like the experience of living alone. Coming home to a place that’s your own is actually the best feeling in the world. For one, you rule the roost, and you’re free to do whatever the hell you want…which likely consists of some pretty strange behavior. (Hey, we aren’t here to judge your journey — we’ve been there, and will probably go there again.)

Truth is, there are some rather embarrassing things you do when you live alone, but we’re here to help liberate you from the shame. (LOL, who are we kidding? You aren’t ashamed.)

So, here goes. The list of things people who live alone do but will probably never admit to includes (but is definitely not limited to) stuff like making funny sounds just to hear your own voice, living like a slob, wearing the same clothes all weekend, or even better, not getting dressed at all.

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BUT THAT’S NOT ALL. Here’s the real deal about what goes down when you live alone:

1Embracing digestive liberation.

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If that sounds like a fancy way of saying “It’s OK to fart and burp out loud and poop with the bathroom door open,” that’s because it is. When you live alone, your unguarded flatulence and digestive processes are no longer a source of shame (they shouldn’t be anyway, tbh), but a sign that you have the freedom to let your body do its natural thing without judgment from another human.

2Putting on full concerts for an audience of zero.

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In fact, studies show (well, they should) that one’s dancing and singing improves drastically when they perform without an audience. Doing this at home alone leaves no room for unsolicited critiques of that squeaky not-so-high note, or anyone trying to convince you that you didn’t actually miss your calling to be the next Beyoncé.

3Not cleaning a damn thing and not feeling guilty about it.

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Um, who cares if your place isn’t always Pinterest pretty? Unless you’re hosting someone or you just really enjoy cleaning, there’s no need to be ashamed that your kitchen currently resembles a pigpen.

4That not cleaning thing? It also extends to your body sometimes.

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Seriously, there comes a time in every solo dweller’s life when showering, face-washing, teeth-brushing or any other form of personal grooming falls by the wayside. Sounds gross, but still, we highly recommend not giving a single eff when this happens (but for the love of all that’s hygienic, maybe don’t let it slack for too long).

5Being naked as often as possible.

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Go ahead and free the nipple, the butt, and whatever other body parts you wish to set free from the confinement of clothing. You’re home alone, therefore non-stop nudity is absolutely your prerogative.

6Having the same song on repeat for 24 hours straight.

A playlist of one song is perfectly acceptable, especially when there’s no one around to hear it.

7Getting super drunk all by your lonesome.

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We know all about the negative connotations associated with sipping solo, but trust us: You can absolutely drink alone without it being depressing. People who live by themselves know this experience to be one that is deeply gratifying, especially because there’s no one else around to snap pics or video and share your inebriated ramblings on social media.

8Eating meals that *really* don’t make sense.

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Listen, unless you’re expecting a visit and accompanying culinary critique from Gordon Ramsay, don’t feel bad about whipping up, well, whatever that weird food was you wolfed down for dinner last night (that was food, wasn’t it?). You can’t pronounce it, and you honestly have no idea which ingredients you used, but all your stomach knows is it went to bed full and satisfied.

9Having frequent, intense convos with yourself.

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If you live alone, who else are you going to talk to? Your pets are great listeners, but there’s only so much they can do. Sure, it’s quirky, but talking to yourself is a legitimate form of self-motivation and also helps you work through random issues that you may not feel inclined to share with anyone.

10Not leaving your bed for an entire day.

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Contrary to popular opinion, you actually don’t have to spend all your waking hours chasing a dream, hustling to get to a better station in life, or whatever else all those super enthusiastic hashtags want to guilt you into doing. Indulging in long periods of downtime gives your body and mind the rest they need to recharge and help you live the best life you possibly can — whether you’re surrounded by others or alone.

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