Jonathan Zipper
October 05, 2013 4:00 pm

Did Britney Spears win this week or what? It’s hard to argue otherwise given all the buzz surrounding her new single, “Work Bitch”. As if that weren’t enough, Miley Cyrus took time out of her busy twerking schedule to praise Britney as an inspiration. Then, while the reality of the shutdown settled in, Ms. Spears herself summed up most of America’s feelings in a single tweet. If that’s not winning, then nothing is. (Sorry, Charlie!)

To celebrate the Britney-fication of these past seven days, raise your glass, then get to “work bitch” on another edition of “The Week In WHAT?!

Let’s Hear It For The Little Guy

Double entendre makes the world go round, but when dropped in the workplace, a quip or two could cause quite the stir. Newscasters at a local CBS affiliate in Alabama quickly learned that lesson when a would-be inside joke found itself a larger audience — because they were live on air. The anchors were casually ad libbing about dressing up dogs. After the male anchor told his female counterpart that he never dressed his dog, she turned her cross-hairs to Mark (the meteorologist) by replying, “Well, you’ve got a big dog. That’s™ probably why. …Mark has a little wiener. Have you ever dressed the wiener up?” Given all the viewers that tuned in, it’s probably the most sizable action the little guy received all week. What? We’re just talking about his wiener dog.

The Miracle of Life: Take Two?

Speaking of small packages, a 2-year-old boy in China reportedly gave birth to an undeveloped fetus. A 2-YEAR-OLD BOY IN CHINA REPORTEDLY GAVE BIRTH TO AN UNDEVELOPED FETUS. Hold up! Who else is like, “Wait! Could science be inching closer to turning the cult-classic Arnold Schwarzenegger movie Junior into a reality?” Okay, so whether or not you’re a fan of Ivan Reitman’s pregnancy romper (sidenote: his son Jason Reitman directed Juno), sadly this story is a case of twins battling for supremacy in the womb. Xiao Feng’s parents took him to the hospital when they became concerned over his bloated stomach. Upon further inspection, Doctor’s discovered that Feng’s body absorbed the unborn fetus of his conjoined twin. Hope you’re not eating right now because PS: the fetus had a fully-formed spine and limbs.

Go Ahead, And Let Your Eyes Wander

Score one for people who feel all kinds of awkward when looking deep into the eyes of another human being! Despite so-called “conventional wisdom” that gazing into the window’s of someone’s soul can help you unleash your powers of persuasion, it turns out that it probably won’t do much of anything. According to a paper recently published in Psychological Science, researchers believe people respond more favorably to opposing views when the person expressing them directs their focus either to the region of the mouth or at an angle. Of course, this is all irrelevant if you’re a vampire with the ability to glamour muggles.

Checkmate for Seatmates?

When you’re flying on a commercial airline, it’s best to remember that every passenger is on the same boat – er, plane. Unless you’re flying in the First Class cabin, in which case, way to live it up in style! However, travelers hanging out in coach frequently deal with an unsavory passenger or two nearby. Now, it seems that many would like to make “economy” seats feel even more low rent despite their usually hefty price tags. A new survey by Skyscanner.com suggests that nine out of ten fliers would like to see some flight routes ban reclining seats entirely. Who else can’t wait to shave 10 seconds off of every future trip when flight attendants no longer need to remind us to make sure our seats are in the fully upright position? Oh wait, there’s still those pesky tray tables to deal with.

And there you have this week in “WHAT?!” Can’t wait to see what’s in store for humanity next!

Image via memecrunch.

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