So I’ll admit, I feel like the term “best friend” becomes a little irrelevant after about the third grade. Do we really need to single out one friend as being better than all the others? It seems almost mean to all of the friends who are now second tier.
While I don’t approve of the term, I do approve of the concept behind the best friend. I feel like friends so often fall into categories – work friends, school friends, running friends, crafting friends, whatever different sections your life has, you probably have friends in all of those areas. The beauty of the “best friend” (I’ll come up with another term for it later) is that she transcends all these – maybe you work together, but she also shares your love of wine, and she goes to your gym. But it’s about more than just interests, this is the person you can list as an emergency contact and will drive you to the airport and act like it’s not totally inconvenient. This person knows that all gatherings at one or the other’s home should involve brie and a bottle of Riesling. They’re the person you can text a picture of ridiculously over the top colorful clothing to and they will respond (correctly) that you should definitely buy it. This is the person you don’t have to explain things to, they just get it. (These things go both ways, of course; as a friend I am a supplier as well as consumer of airport rides, wine and cheese, and shopping enabling.)
These sorts of friends transcend time and place, but it is nice when they’re in the same zip code. I move a lot, so this can get tricky. While I have a fantastic group of friends in my current location, I’m still in search of someone with those “bestie” qualities. While nothing can top Mindy Kaling’s brilliant list of rules for best friends, I’ve assembled my own list of criteria, based on my favorite TV best friends. If I find someone who agrees with me on these rules and watches all these shows, I think I’ll be set.
We can come over to each other’s place whenever, no questions asked.
One of my all time favorite Grey’s Anatomy scenes is when Cristina comes over to Meredith’s house and just kicks Derek out of bed so she can talk to Meredith, and Mere’s totally fine with it. This, to me, is the essence of friendship. It’s knowing that when your friend really needs something, that comes before everything else, even McDreamy.
I would love to have a friendship just like Blair and Serena’s, minus all of the horrible backstabbing, and just with the parts like this: “We’re sisters. Your my family, what is you is me. There’s nothing you could ever say to make me let go.” In Blair’s case, this means helping Serena deal with the fact that she sort of not really killed a guy (pretty sure watching someone OD does not constitute actual murder). Whether you’ve committed a sort of but not really murder or you’re being stalked by any number of weird people hellbent on destroying you as Serena always seemed to be, I am there for you. I will defend your character and do everything to take down the crazy person who’s after you. I may not have Blair’s ability to get people sent to boot camp or deported to Russia, but I’ll do what I can.
We will indulge each other’s freakouts but also provide a voice of reason.
Everyone has those moments where you just lose your mind over something weird and possibly minor, and it’s somehow easier to get this out of your system when there’s someone listening and nodding along. There will be a judgment free time frame in which we can blab on about whatever, but at some point, sound advice will be given on how to actually handle the situation. Jess and CeCe are always there for each other in the crazy moments, but also help each other reign in the drama and move on with life.
I will support all of your life choices (but it might take me a minute).
I love Leslie and Ann so much, in part because they are my shining beacon of hope that awesome friendships still happen for adults. I think it’s been brought up enough that this isn’t a spoiler, but I’m not sure I have it in me to watch Parks and Rec once Rashida Jones leaves the show. Sure, she has Ben now, but Leslie without Ann is like peanut butter without jelly. Anyway, while these two are always there for each other, they’re not without their rocky moments, like when Ann tells Leslie she wants to have a baby on her own. Leslie’s initially shocked, and concerned that Ann wants to do this without a husband, but eventually she gets on board with Ann’s choice, because that’s what best friends do.
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