Elizabeth Entenman
June 25, 2013 9:00 am

Do you ever feel like inanimate objects understand you? That’s how I feel about Emojis. I’m going to assume that you know, love and use Emojis in your texts, because if not, you don’t know what you’re missing, and I’m not really sure how to talk to you. Download them now for free! But maybe ask someone who already has them to help you, because you’re going to be like “OMGWTF keyboards.” I’ll wait.

Emojis are the best. There’s a little symbol for (almost) every occasion you could possibly think of, from facial expressions to animals to food to sports. They say so much more than I ever could. Plus, they make your text messages look awesome. My favorite way to send Emojis is with no context. The more random, the better: Cow. Kimono. Pineapple. But I also like to string them together and tell stories: “Flamenco dancer, house, cheeseburger, VHS tape” is a story about a girl who spent a night out dancing and then came home to unwind with takeout and a ’90s movie. Obviously. But I’ve also begun ascribing certain Emojis meaning.

Need some inspiration for your next text? Here are some of the Emojis you might not have noticed when scrolling through, plus some tips on how to use them.

1. Soon

Just like the meme says: Soon. I like to include this one with the promise of what the night holds.

2. Cyrano de Bergerevil

If you want to convey displeasure that goes beyond the simple “:(”, there are tons of Emojis for that. But when sadface smileys aren’t enough, there’s Cyrano de Bergerevil. It’s not that he’s mad at you – he’s disappointed in you. He expected more.

3. No iPhone

This one means my phone is about to die.

4. Text Bubble

You know how on iMessage you can see when the other person is typing? When I’m having a conversation with someone, I think it’s funny to send the text bubble and trick the person into thinking I’m typing for a really long time. But I’m really no-ot!

5. ® Mark

The easy way to call “dibs” on anything!

6. Tube Thing with Legs

Okay, those aren’t actually legs, but it really looks like it. Sometimes I text him to my friends just to say hi. (His name is Barry.)

7. Brooklyn

“BK” probably stands for “bank”, but whenever I’m in the city, it signifies hanging out in Brooklyn.

8. Unlabeled Red Flame

What is that supposed to be? A flame? A tulip? A character from Number Crunchers? I honestly don’t know. But it has a blank label (I think), so you can call it as anything you want.

9. Olmec

Hmmmmmmmmmm. Which Emoji should you use next? The choices are yours and yours alone. Gooood luuuuck.

10. The Bad Report

My method of choice for delivering bad news. I can almost hear the “womp womp” that goes along with it.

These are just the beginning, of course. I didn’t even get into the animals or the edible objects. Like the poodle that’s so much fancier than the cute cartoon puppy, or the rice plate that could maybe also pass for Neapolitan ice cream. The next time you need an Emoji, think outside the box. And if you aren’t using Emojis, seriously: what are you waiting for?

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