Alyssa Thorne
November 22, 2016 11:11 am
Doxieone Photography/ Getty Images

Thanksgiving is a great holiday – y’know, considering that Thanksgiving is mostly about food, and feeling grateful for what you have. And food. Have we mentioned food? Given how this year has gone, we’re way overdo for a day of focusing on the good things in our lives, and also having a socially acceptable reason to eat our feelings. Yet, one of the downsides of Thanksgiving can be making conversation at the dinner table — even if you love the people you’re with, making conversation for a long meal can be kind of grueling, and then there’s the fact that thinking about conversation while you’re trying to focus on fitting as much stuffing inside of your body as possible is just HARD, okay?

But don’t worry, friends. We’ve got your back. Puns are the perfect Thanksgiving conversational ammo, because they’re quick, easy, funny, OR your family and friends will be so irritated by your antics that they’ll let you eat in peace.

1. Why is there a turkey on comedy central? He’s obviously there for a roast.

2. If your great-grandmother saw you making boxed mashed potatoes, she would turn over in her gravy.

3. I don’t care how much you love turkey, we don’t allow that kind of fowl language at the dinner table.

4. We buy our bird at the grocery store now — one year we hunted our own, and then had to spring for an exorcist to get rid of the poultrygeist.

5. Everybody raise your gobble-lets for a toast.

6. What’s a turkey’s favorite Thanksgiving food? Nothing, they’re already stuffed.

7. Obvi the soundtrack of the evening will be of the (Plymouth) Rock genre.

8. If you’re visiting home somewhere cold from California, make sure that your family notices your puritan.

9. What does Thanksgiving have in common with Halloween? GOBBLE-INS.

10. We know the puns are getting old, but we can’t give them up cold turkey.

See? This Thanksgiving is going to be easy as pie.

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