Channing Sargent
November 01, 2016 2:07 pm
Apple

Today, we mourn. Apple’s peach emoji has been updated, and it no longer looks, sob, like a butt. No, now it just looks like… well, like a peach. Apple’s beta version of iOS 10.2 is out and along with the routine updates and some new features, come some redesigned emojis, including a more botanically-correct, but less anotomically #correct peach.

Since the dawn of texting, people (ahem, Kim Kardashian) have been using the peach emoji as a stand-in for a butt but the NEW peach emoji will look like this aka it looks nothing like a butt.

Let us pay tribute to our fruity emoji derrière of yesteryear.

Dear Beautiful, Bulbous Peach Booty
How we will miss your soft
subtle curvature

Apple

Your sensual play
with light and texture

Your seductive center seam
with which you’d tease

And entice us
with your fleshy blush

We will miss you
O.G. Peach Emoji
For what you did
for sexting

Your impact is lasting
and will not be forgotten

We will continue to use
the new you
to symbolize
behinds, bums, buttocks and asses

But it won’t carry an equal
titillating weight
And the evolution
of human communication
will never be the same
Without you, tender fruit
That looked
Like a butt

Some other emoji updates include a face palm (particularly useful today), a clown (a little insensitive, no?), a gorilla (sob, Harambe), an arm taking a selfie (so you can just use that instead of going to the pains of actually taking a selfie, how convenient), and a thumbs down.

Apple

That’s how we feel about your treatment of our peach, Apple.

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