Kenya Foy
December 10, 2016 8:05 am
Simone Giertz /

While we prefer to handle this type of task on our own, a woman named Simone Giertz invented a butt-wiping robot presumably to be used by folks who either can’t or don’t want to do their own dirty work. Hey, we all get busy sometimes. According to Uproxx, Giertz is a self-proclaimed subject matter expert on constructing “shitty robots” (her words, not ours) and we have to say her odd invention literally fits the bill.

We can’t faithfully peg this is as the most hygienic way to use the toilet but it’s creative if nothing else. Feeling so fresh and so clean, clean is of the utmost importance to us, specifically after handling biz in the bathroom, but that’s apparently something Giertz’s robot can’t yet guarantee users. By her own admission, the butt-wiping robot’s functions are still kind of wonky (she is the “Mistress of Malfunction,” after all).

In Giertz’s YouTube video, she walks viewers through how her robot works (the term works is to be taken lightly here). She basically mounted a power drill to the lid of the toilet and attached a roll of toilet paper that rotates way too fast to be remotely effective.

However, she immediately gets all of the cool points for attempting to distract us from this machine’s shittiness by placing a unicorn head on her mannequin butt-wiping volunteer.

But eventually this happens and not even a unicorn can protect us from this butt-wiping robot nightmare come true:


Giertz says the pulling pants on a mannequin that’s seated on a toilet might be the weirdest thing she’s done today, but for us, it’s watching this fascinating video. This butt-wiping adventure was majorly entertaining, but we can’t help but notice Giertz’s other quirky inventions, like this awesome-sounding “Pussy Grabs Back Machine.”

So, who else is down to spend the rest of the day binging on all of Giertz’s invention vids?