Rachel Paige
Updated May 04, 2017 @ 1:08 pm
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star wars
Credit: Hot Topic, Her Universe, ThinkGeek

Hi! My name is Rachel and I have a problem buying Star Wars things!

Roughly two weeks before I went to Star Wars Celebration in Orlando, Florida, I got my tax return. My mom sent me a text that read, verbatim, “I would advise you put it into savings then so you don’t just blow it.” This was code for, “RACHEL STOP SPENDING MONEY ON STAR WARS THINGS.” And I was like, okay mom. And I heeded her advice for like, a week and then I found myself at Star Wars Celebration and well:

This brings us to today, May the 4th, the (un)official best Star Wars day of the year. There are *so many Star Wars sales* right now, and I know how much of my tax return I still have. You have no idea how tempted I am to buy everything I see on the internet right now. It is hard for me, guys.

But, since I know my mom is watching my spending with great interest — just like how Palpatine watched Anakin’s career with great interest — I have to refrain from buying everything. Instead, here’s just a nice list of things I’d really like to buy, but I won’t, mom.

Sketchy toss windbreaker

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Credit: We Love Fine

I won’t buy it here, mom, for $60.

Satin 40th anniversary souvenir jacket

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Credit: HerUniverse

I promise I won’t buy it here, mom, for $79.90.

Han Solo in carbonite plush

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Credit: ThinkGeek

I promise I won’t buy it here, mom, for $11.99 (even though it’s on sale for $3.99 right now, ugh.)

Death Star crossbody bag

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Credit: Hot Topic

I promise I won’t buy it here, mom, for $29.90.

Yoda light-up lightsaber umbrella

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Credit: Disney Store

I promise I won’t buy it here, mom, for $64.95.

Han Solo “I Know” shirt

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Credit: Box Lunch

I promise I won’t buy it here, mom, for $28.90.

General Leia end-of-the-movie Funko Pop!

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Credit: Box Lunch

I promise I won’t buy it here, mom for $10.50.

Chewbacca throw pillow

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Credit: Target

I promise I won’t buy it here, mom for $19.99.

Swivel 3D Death Star necklace

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Credit: Box Lunch

I promise I won’t buy it here, mom, for $18.90.

Lego lightsaber earrings

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Credit: Amazon

I promise I won’t buy it here, mom, for $9.99.

Tattoo mini backpack

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Credit: Loungefly

I promise I won’t buy it here, mom, for $60.

BB-8 anywhere chair

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Credit: Pottery Barn Kids

I promise I won’t buy it here, mom, for $149.

Galaxy skirt

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Credit: Disney Store

I promise I won’t buy it here, mom, for $74.99.

Empire/Rebel symbol pattern cardigan

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Credit: HerUniverse

I promise I won’t buy it here, mom, for $35.

AT-AT ceramic mug

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Credit: ThinkGeek

I promise I won’t buy it here, mom, for $12.99.

Death Star waffle maker

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Credit: ThinkGeek

I promise I won’t buy it here, mom, for $39.99.

“Rey can do it!” t-shirt

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Credit: Tee Public

I promise I won’t buy it here, mom, for $20.

Congratulations to all of you who bought these things today. Mom, all of this is going on my holiday list for 2017.

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